Page 86 of Terror at the Gates

“If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to your private waiting room.”

“Where is my wife?” he asked.

“She’s in surgery,” said the nurse. “Once I show you to your room—”

“How is she? What about my son?”

“Mr. De Santis, I can call the OR for an update once I show you to your room.”

“Gabriel,” I said, wrapping my arm around his. He dropped his gaze to mine. “Let’s go.”

His eyes lingered on my face. I didn’t know what he was thinking, maybe nothing and everything all at once.

I tugged him forward, and he followed. We fell in step behind the nurse. The suite wasn’t far, just down the hall and behind a windowless door. The room itself was spacious but still screamed hospital with modular seating and laminate wood tables. One wall was painted green, and they had traded fluorescents for table lamps.

“Someone will be with you shortly,” said the nurse before he left, closing the door quietly behind him.

A heavy and horrible silence settled between us. Gabriel sat on the edge of the couch with his head in his hands. Cassius glanced at me before crossing the room to the coffee machine.

Zahariev touched my arm. I looked up at him.

“You should wash your face,” he said. My eyes narrowed, but before I could ask him what was wrong with my face, he added, “And your hands.”

My eyes widened.

Zahariev took a step back and opened the door to theadjoining bathroom. I slipped inside and went straight to the sink, turning on the hot water. I pumped too much soap into my hands, hating how the suds turned red with Esther’s blood. The water was steaming, and I inhaled sharply when it touched my skin, but I didn’t care. It made me feel somewhat clean.

I hadn’t realized that Zahariev had followed me into the bathroom until he came up behind me and turned the cold water on.

“Stop!” I snapped, turning it off.

“You’re hurting yourself,” he said, turning it back on. I reached for it again, but he kept his hand there. “Lilith,stop.”

I turned and pushed him. He took a step back, though I knew he’d done that purposefully, to put some space between us. I hated the way he looked at me, his gaze almost glassy, like he hurtforme, and it pissed me off. He didn’t get to care after he’d decided to ignore me.

“None of this would have happened if you had listened to me.”

His jaw tightened. “Lilith—”

“Fuck. You.”

I pushed him again, and he let me. Maybe there was a part of his brain that realized he deserved it. When his back was to the wall, he grabbed my wrists.

“Let go!” I said between clenched teeth. I tried to free myself, but he pulled me closer, and then his hands were on either side of my face, fingers pressed hard into my scalp. He was so close, I could feel his breath on my lips. His eyes were watering.

I’d never seen him like this. I wished I wasn’t seeing it now.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have listened. I wish I had.I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” I said. “I want you tofixit.”

He shook his head ever so slightly, as if to tell me there was nothing he could do.

“Lily—”

“Youdon’tget to call me that!”

There was a knock at the door, and Zahariev released me. I turned in time to see Cassius poke his head into the room, but I already knew what he was going to say. I knew because I could hear Gabriel’s deep wail from the other room.