Page 27 of Terror at the Gates
“Fuck off,” I said, smoothing my pencil skirt. “You know I had lunch with my dad.”
He smiled and took a drag from his cigarette.
“How is he?” Zahariev asked.
“More desperate than ever to have me home,” I said. I let my eyes narrow. “Do you know something I don’t?”
“I’m sure Lisk is putting pressure on him,” said Zahariev, smoke drifting from his mouth as he spoke. “They want you married.”
“No one’s going to marry me,” I said. “I’ve ruined my reputation.”
“You underestimate man’s desire for power,” said Zahariev.
“Is the church pressuringyouto marry?”
“No, though the commission likes to suggest potential brides every time we meet.”
“Like who?” I asked. I didn’t like the jealousy that roared to life inside me at the thought of Zahariev getting married. I told myself it was because there was no chance the woman chosen for him would approve of me. His selection was limited to the second and third daughters of the other three families, and none of those women liked me. “I bet Victor put Violet forward. Don’t marry her. She’s a bitch.”
Zahariev raised a brow and took another drag from his cigarette. “Are you ready?”
“I just don’t want you to make the wrong decision when it comes to your future bride.”
“There is no bride, Lilith,” he said. “I won’t marry.”
“Never?” I asked. I disliked how much I wanted him to answer that question and how disappointed I was when he didn’t.
“Don’t you want a siphon?” I continued to poke. “It’s allthe rage. Think about how powerful you could be.”
I didn’t know a single Elohai who didn’t leech magic from their wives, sometimes even their daughters. Officially, the families were only supposed to use their magic to support the church, who pretended they only used it to perform miracles —calming storms, healing the sick, resurrecting the dead. Though the latter had only happened once as far as I was aware. Of course, not everyone was a receiver of such gifts. Sometimes, a Elohai’s magic was used to punish. Sometimes, they were the reason for the storms, the sickness, the death.
Our role in this world is to reinforce the power of faith, my mother would say.
Faith in what?I asked.It’s our magic, not God’s.
My mother had jerked me by the wrist. It wasn’t painful, but I still remembered the fear that had unfurled inside me as I met her severe gaze. When my mother was angry with me, she became a different person, a monster.
You are Elohai, she had said between her teeth. The blood of God is in your veins. It isGod’smagic. It has always been God’s magic.Neverforget.
I hadn’t forgotten her words, but I also didn’t understand why my mother, who was strong, determined, and more independent than any of the other family matriarchs, gave her power to this institution that had done nothing but harm me.
I still didn’t understand, but that was why I had run and why I was begging Zahariev for a job.
“I don’t need magic to be powerful, Lilith,” Zahariev said. “Stop stalling.”
“I’m not stalling,” I said, glaring at him. He was the one who asked about my father and the one who mentioned marriage. I glanced around the room before meeting hisgaze. “Where do you want me?”
Zahariev’s quiet laugh made my stomach flip. I wanted to know what he was thinking, what made his eyes gleam as he beckoned me.
“Come on, little love.”
He turned, and I followed as he led me down a hall, past the public restrooms, and around a corner where there were several private suites. Each included a leather couch and a curtain for privacy. The thought of dancing for Zahariev in one of these rooms with no lock between us and the outside world made me anxious. Anyone could walk in on us, and they were bound to get the wrong idea, but I didn’t say any of that aloud, because I didn’t want to be accused of stalling again.
He chose a room on the left, closing the curtain after I slipped inside ahead of him. He turned and looked at me, and it felt like he had sucked all the air out of this tiny room.
I couldn’t breathe, and for a moment, my confidence faltered. Maybe it was the room, but the way Zahariev was looking at me felt different. There was a serious edge to his expression that had nothing to do with his usual irritation. Maybe the closeness made him realize just how far he’d let this go.
I thought he’d expected to call my bluff, but I was serious about working, even if it meant having to dance for him to land the job.
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