Page 130 of Terror at the Gates

“Two?” I asked. “Why have I only met Cassius?”

“Because my youngest died,” he said.

“I’m sorry.” I wished I hadn’t asked, but I also didn’t like that I hadn’t known something so important about him.

“It’s fine,” he said. “I didn’t expect you to know. He was ten years younger than me… You were what? Two?”

“Don’t say it that way.”

“What way?”

“I’m only two years older than your youngest brother?”

He stared at me like he wasn’t comprehending what I was saying, and maybe he didn’t get it, but I didn’t really want to think about how young I’d been when he was twelve after he’d had his tongue down my throat last night.

“Here we are,” Gabriel announced as he returned to the living room, cradling a swaddled Liam in his arm. “Do you want to sit down?”

“Yeah,” I said, moving toward the couch. I had never actually held a baby before and didn’t feel comfortable standing with him.

I took a seat as Gabriel bent close, placing Liam in my waiting arms.

“Just make sure you keep his head supported,” he said.

“Is this okay?” I asked. His head rested in the crook of my elbow.

“Yep, that’s perfect,” he said, adjusting his little hat. A few feathery hairs peeked out from beneath the cap, golden in color.

I couldn’t stop looking at him, amazed by his detailed features. His lips were pink, perfectly bowed, his nosealready looked like a smaller version of Gabriel’s, and his lashes were blond, fanning across, heavy, rosy cheeks.

I was in awe of Esther, who had literally grown this perfect human. As I held him, I couldn’t understand how women, mothers especially, were treated like second-class citizens. This was a miracle. It was magic. This, I would worship over an absent God.

“I can’t believe he is here,” I whispered. I was afraid to speak too loudly. I didn’t want to disturb him. He was already twitching in my arms.

“Hey,” Zahariev said, snapping his fingers at Gabriel before pointing to the bedroom. “Shower. Now.”

“I’m going,” Gabriel said, thrusting his fingers through his hair. It was so stiff, it stuck straight up. “Just…if you need anything.…”

“We’re fine,” Zahariev said, rounding the counter, a bottle in hand. “Go.”

“Right. Going,” Gabriel said, disappearing into the bedroom.

I glanced at Zahariev. “You’re such a daddy.”

“You only get to call me that when you behave,” he said.

My gaze snapped back to him. His expression was serious, which made me feel like he wasn’t joking.

“The day I behave is the day you fuck me, Zahariev,” I said. “Two things that will never happen.”

He raised a brow and handed me the bottle. “Not in front of the baby.”

“Why are you handing me this?” I asked.

“You need to feed him,” he said.

“But he’s asleep.”

“Feed him anyway,” he said.