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I know that I can’t go home, but hearing the words being spoken out loud sends a chill through me.
“You’ll never be able to leave our sight, darling.” Nikolai adds, his tone almosttoogentle as he takes a step forward as well. “At least, not until you accept that you belong to us both wholeheartedly.”
I shake my head, unable to look at him, suddenly feeling ashamed of the way my body is trembling.
“Please.” I whisper, ready to get down on my knees and beg them if it makes a difference. “I need them to know that I’m okay.”
There’s no answer right away, but I can feel their eyes on me.
In the silence that follows, a single tear falls, and I don’t even try to stop it.
I’m completely at their mercy now.
I wrap my arms around my body as my breathing soon becomes more erratic as I try to swallow the sobs down.
I can’t humiliate myself any longer.
Mikhail mutters something in Russian, his voice low and sharp. Although I don’t understand the words that are leaving his mouth, I do understand the intent behind them. He’s saying something about me—that much is clear.
Nikolai exhales slowly, his gaze flickering to me before he nods at his brother.
“I think the same.”
He says in English, making sure that I’m able to understand him now.
The weight of the words crushes down on me, and my throat tightens as I try to fight back the tears.
I just want my family to know that I’m safe.
To see my face.
To hear my voice.
To know that I haven’t disappeared without a trace.
I swallow hard, thoughts of my family swimming through my head.
Are they okay?
Are they still looking for me?
I wonder how Papa is holding up, and how Dario is too.
I wonder if they’re supporting each other during this time, or if they’re back to arguing again, like how they would after Mama’s death.
I think of my friends, of Tamana, who I left all alone in my flat.
Closing my eyes, I release a heavy breath, forcing myself to calm down.
Everything will be fine.
I say to myself.
Everything will be fine.
When I open my eyes again, Mikhail clicks his tongue at me.
“A video wouldn’t hurt.”