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Though there’s no physical abuse, the mental toll is becoming unbearable. They watch me, and wait for me too. They humiliate me in so many ways, like when their eyes are always on me, even when I’m using the bathroom. They hover over me like shadows in the doorway, waiting for me to mess up, so they can step in, and take action.
And now, they’re telling me to bathe in front of them.
I shiver at that thought, this feeling more humiliating than anything else that’s happened to me in this place.
How is this even real?
It’s madness. All of it is.
I stand in the bathroom, my feet cold against the tiles on the floor. The sound of the water filling the tub barely registers as my mind continues spinning.
What are they doing?
What do they want from me?
It doesn't make sense to want me. They don’t evenknowme. And if they were hoping to use me against the Italians, well, they haven’t done that yet. They’ve been keeping me quiet, forcing me to escape into my mind, sending me spiralling.
Suddenly, the bathroom door creaks open. My heart races as I stiffen, my arms going around me as my fingers tremble against my bare flesh. Their presence fills the room as they both take another step inside.
Nikolai. Mikhail.
There’s no escape for me.
I hear both sets of breathing sharpen, then a low whistle fills the room.
Mikhail.
My stomach clenches at that sound, and my body begins to shake.
Without saying anything, they both move towards me.
Nikolai reaches out, running his fingertips along my waist before he pulls away, moving behind me as he adjusts the water tap. Mikhail is closer now, his breathing heavy, as he drags his eyes across my naked form.
I don’t want to look at either one of them. I don’t want to be here, exposed like this, but I know there’s no choice.
“You’re here to stay, darling.” Nikolai’s voice is low as he speaks, and I feel him returning from the bathtub to stand by my side. “It’s better that you grow comfortable around us.”
I hug myself tighter, swallowing down on a sob.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
I wasn’t supposed to be here.
I was supposed to be safe with my family.
And now…
“Why are you doing this to me?”
I whisper quietly, hating myself for sounding so weak, but it’s the best I can do.
They both move in closer towards me, and they both touch me. The back of their hands brush against my bare skin as I wince slightly, feeling my heart rate pick up.
“Relax.” Mikhail says softly, his fingertips rising higher so he can brush them across the sides of my ribs. “We’re not going to hurt you, beauty. We only want to see you happy.”
A shiver goes through my body.
I don’t believe him. I don’t believe any of his words.