Page 43

But there’s also something there too; helplessness, and pity for this situation I’ve found myself in.
At first, they were always so tense, a constant coldness in their eyes. But now…now, things are different. There’s a gentleness in their expressions whenever they’re near me.
And when they touch me, when they speak to me. When they treat me like I’m their equal, making it so easy for me to forget who I truly am; their captive.
I hate it.
I hate the way they’re able to manipulate me so well.
I hate the way I’m now beginning to care about the smallest of things.
Like the way they watch me, and the way they love. Like how they make me feel so small, so trapped in this place oftheirs, but also, so desired in a way I never thought would be possible in a situation like this.
It disgusts me.
I will never allow myself to want them.
I will never give in to the trap they’ve set up for me.
Every day, I think of my family; my mother, my father, my brother. I think of home, the place Papa moved us to so we would be safe. Although it wasn’t Italy, England soon becamemine,and it created a new sense of normalcy for me.
But now, that world seems so far away. It all feels like a distant memory.
I wonder what my family would think if they saw me now, trapped in only a small room, surrounded by two men more dangerous than I could ever have imagined.
Will they fight for me?
Will they come charging into here, guns blazing, ready to take me back?
Or is it too late?
A sense of dread fills me with that question in mind.
There’s no doubt about it; my father will rescue me, and so will my brother. They won’t let me suffer like this.
I shake my head, not wanting to think about this any more. I can’t think about them right now, because even if I do fight back, there’s no use.
I’m completely powerless here.
I can’t run.
I can’t escape.
I’m a captive in this place.
I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve tried pushing back. It makes no difference to them. They’re amused, pleased by my acts of defiance.
It’s suffocating to spend each and every day like this.
At least they haven’t done much yet.
Yes, they watch me.
And yes, they talk to me.
But it’s never clear.
No explanation is provided, and no other information is given.