Page 21

I don’t know how much time has passed.
Everythingaches, and my mind…my mind won't stop. I drift from thoughts to memories, a cycle of terror and fear that won’t let me rest. As a tear slips down my cheek, a small sob escapes me, sounding weak and broken as it leaves me.
There’s one question blaring at the back of my mind.
Did she feel this way too?
The thought of my mother slams into me like a blow to my chest. I feel my heart twisting painfully as the tears fall even faster now, and I begin to gasp for air, desperate to finally breathe.
Was this how Mama felt?
When she shoved me away, and she ordered me to hide, and she told me to never come out until Papa was the one to call for me, did she know she was going to die?
Did she cry for us when the first shot was fired?
My shoulders begin to shake as my sobs grow louder, my head moving from side to side as I curl my arms around my middle, desperate to hold onto myself.
There’s a shift in the air, then fingers—rough, calloused—brush against my check. A soft murmur is heard as the touch startles me, but I can’t move away. I can’t eventryto.
“Don’t cry.” The voice mocks me in its calmness. “Crying will not do anything.”
The hand wipes away the tears which streak down my cheek, slow and deliberate, as though he is slicing into the soft flesh of my face.
I open my eyes, sobbing harder when I see the same man there. He looks down at me, his face void of any compassion, as he continues swiping at my tears.
My thoughts only spiral further.
Will my family even have the chance to find my body?
With Mama, we were able to hold a funeral.
Will the same be possible for me?
“I want to go home!”
I choke out, my throat tightening as a flash of anger washes over his face.
His fingers tighten around my jaw as he breathes out sharply, eyes dark as they bore into mine.
“You will go home, beauty.” He murmurs softly, his thumb moving higher as he presses the soft pad of it to the corner of my lips. “Save your tears for then.”
His words terrify me.
All I can think about is Papa and Dario.
How will they react?
Losing our mother almost ruined them both, almost ruined their relationship too.
If they lose me too…
I take a deep breath in, hiccuping as fresh tears flow down my cheeks all over again.
“Stop crying.” He says again, his voice sharper this time. “You won’t die, beauty. Not now. Not with us.”
The promise—the threat—hangs heavy in the air.
As I’m pulled into the dark again, my thoughts drift to my family once more.