Page 8

I’m a burden.
I watch as Xayden stabs his fork in a steak and throws it on his plate. Then he grabs the potato salad and scoops a huge glob of it onto his dish.
“Honey, did you want to grab some food?” My mom frowns at me, noticing my lack of appetite.
I chuckle nervously. “I, um, I’m not that hungry. I think I’m a little jet lagged from the flight, honestly.”
“Here, just eat a little of the potato salad and have a piece of bread.” She puts food on my dish like I’m three. I can feel my face heat up with embarrassment.
I need to take the focus off of me.
“So, Aaron, I never really asked, what type of law do you practice?” I look over at my stepfather.
“I’m a criminal prosecutor. I put the bad guys away.” He smiles at me. “Hoping my son follows in my footsteps.”
“Dad, I told you, there’s more money in defending them than prosecuting them.” Xayden laughs and holy hell, that laugh is sexy.
I shouldn’t be thinking these things about my stepbrother. My vagina shouldn’t be clenching at the sound of his voice.
Fuck, why did my mom have to go and remarry?
“Why architecture, Rory?” Aaron asks me, and my stomach sinks. My lips lock up, and I can feel the air being sucked out of the room. Did my mother not tell him why? Why architecture is so important to me?
Tears start to well up, and I don’t know if I can even talk about this. Because I knew from such a young age I wanted to do what my dad had always wished he went to school for. I wanted to make him proud that I carried out his dream.
When other kids were coloring in their coloring books, I was off to the side of the picture, drawing homes and plans.
“Oh, Aaron, I have told you this before. Thomas always dreamed of becoming an architect, but … well, things happened, and he had to take a different path in life. Rory and her dad would go look at houses and buildings together?—”
“Mom. Please, stop.” My voice wavers.
“Shit, sorry. I-I didn’t mean to upset you, sweetie.” My mom looks at me with a pitiful frown.
She doesn’t understand that while she can move on in life and love someone else, I can’t. There will never be another father for me. I can’t just move on and find a new dad.
Clearing my throat and holding back tears, I look at Aaron. “It’s just in my blood. I guess much like law is for Xayden. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m feeling a bit tired, and I think I need to get some more sleep.”
Pushing my chair out, it scrapes against the tile floor.
I grab the bottle of water my mother gave me and head out of the house, walking toward the lake. Once I am farther out, I letthe tears fall. I steer myself away from the guest house and to the boat house on the water.
Walking toward the end of the dock, I sit down and look out at the beautiful colors the sunset is painting the sky with. The yellows and oranges run across the sky in an idyllic scene, giving me a bit of peace.
Even after all these years, it’s been hard to still try and move past the loss of my dad. Talking about him or why I chose architecture just sets off the hurt and pain I try to keep buried.
I have to hold back a sob as I remember the day we buried him.
Even after that day, on his birthday, or the holidays, I would have my mom take me to visit his grave. I would talk to him, tell him how much I missed him. How he left my heart shattered into pieces, and even though it wasn’t his fault, I was robbed of his love.
I even left new snow globes next to his headstone. I would get the same one and add it to my collection.
And now I can’t even do that, being in a different state and all.
My mom does deserve love. She truly does. For so long I was her focus, and I get that she had been lonely since he died. She never dated, never took time for herself.
But to move me with her? I do resent her for that. Still, I also want to make her happy. And she seems happy with Aaron. He’s not a bad guy, and he really does care for her.
While his son is a moody asshole, Aaron makes her smile, and he looks at her like he is completely in love with her. So I have to be okay with everything. Being in a sweaty sauna of a state and going to a school I never really wanted to go to.