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Story: Seeing Red

And I don’t want daddy to lose his hair while he watches me lose mine.

I don’t know how we got so lucky with the family we were born into. But y’all have given me the best 28 years I could ever ask for. And I want y’all to remember me exactly how I was. Before the diagnosis. Before I become somebody else.

I know it’s selfish blindsiding you like this. Especially when you’ll be turning 29 in a couple of months. Your first birthday without me. I’m so sorry, True. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay and fight like I said I would.

But I hope you’ll understand.

I’m not leaving this letter with the others. Hopefully, you find it whenever you’re ready to read it.

I love you, True. So deep.

You’re more than my sister. More than my best friend. You are a part of my soul. As necessary as all my limbs.

I’ve known you before this life and I promise I’ll know you in the next one. We’ll both be healthy and live to a hundred in that one.

Until then…

Find your bliss, True.

Promise me you’ll write your books.

Promise me you’ll let yourself fall in love.

Promise me you’ll never stop going on adventures.

I know it won’t be the same without me, but I just need you to keep going.

You have to keep living. For me.

Promise me, True.

I was on the floor, but I didn’t remember how I got there.

The letter blurred and I flung it away from me, refusing to wet it with my tears and ruin the last thing she’d given me.

I didn’t know how long I stayed on that floor, but I sobbed for at least an hour before my body was wrung out.

She’d written it before we could turn twenty-nine together. And next week I would be turning thirty without her too.

Picking myself up off the floor, I walked to my room and collapsed on the bed, desperate to find the silver lining to justify the ache that had settled in my bones.

She wasn’t here, but I was still fighting. I would never stop fighting. At least I would get to see my parents tomorrow and celebrate our favorite holiday together.

And when I got back to Bliss Peak, I would keep every promise my sister had asked of me.

Christmas with Greyson was a tradition at this point. His family was the only one I’d spent the holiday with for the past six years. But this year was different.

This year, I woke up to him with his head on my shoulder and his arm thrown over my torso.

This year, he knew I loved him and he loved me back.

This year, I knew we had forever with each other and True.

All the obsessing I used to do about moving out when he found someone felt silly now. Now we were both trying to turn our guest room into a space for True, so we could all live together. For good.

So many mornings, I’d woken up in his bed by mistake, telling myself it didn’t mean anything.

Now, it meant everything.