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He didn’t want me to leave but he didn’t want me to stand up for him either. And the problem was I would never agree to that because I loved him too much.

I loved himandGreyson and my head hadn’t caught up with my heart yet. Admitting I loved one of them was enough. But both of them? When I was supposed to be leaving Bliss Peak in January? Unacceptable.

Sighing, I rubbed at my temples and regarded my grandmother. She was watching me with pursed lips and a knowing look.

“I’m not running,” I repeated. “I just need a break.” A reprieve. A breather. Away from my feelings and away from the men who had put me in them.

Ruby Jean looked at me with understanding etched across her face. I couldn’t tell if she empathized with me or felt pity for me. “So that’s it? You gone up and leave every time somebody get on your nerves?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing and it scares me. I wasn’t supposed to leave here in love with a man. And now I’m in love with two.” I think I’d fallen in love with them before we ever agreed to be together. I should have seen it coming, but denial made me feel like I was invincible.

Her forehead creased at the hitch in my voice, she closed the space between us and pulled me into her arms when I kept wringing my hands. “Why you gotta know everything? Why can’t you just make peace with some things not making sense and enjoy them anyway?”

“Because I don’t live here, grandma. Even if I don’t leave today, I’m leaving eventually.”

“That’s written in stone somewhere?” she asked, rubbing my back. “You can write books from anywhere. And I guarantee you neither one of them men is gonna let you get far. They love you, lady bug.”

I pulled away from her with my eyes bucked.

“Oh.” She feigned sheepishness. “You ain’t figured that one out yet, huh?”

Silence ate up any response I wanted to give. Whether they loved me or not, there was still so much up in the air. If this was how we acted after a simple argument…my grandmother’s voice cut in, derailing my thoughts.

“Listen, I know you got a notebook somewhere full of everything you want to happen for the next however many years, and I know falling in love with two men won’t nowhere on it. But you telling me that just because you didn’t see it coming, it ain’t good?”

“No ma’am.”

She nodded vigorously, engulfing me in her embrace again. “If the past year taught you anything, it should have taught you that things don’t go according to plan and that’s okay. Think about all the plans your sister had that never got to happen. Enjoy what you got in front of you right now, lady bug. The rest will figure itself out.”

The rest will figure itself out.Those words gave me more hope than I felt all day, and I beamed at the woman in front of me.

“You might know what you’re talking about after all, Ruby Jean.”

“Oh, gone on somewhere.” She swatted teasingly at my arm and shuffled away from me, picking up her cane from its resting place against the arm of the sofa. I kept my eyes on her until she was safely in her recliner with Lady at her feet.

To prove a point—to myself and her—I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

All five notifications on my screen were from Greyson in the past hour, but my phone had been on DND.

“I’ll call him after I take care of this,” I muttered to myself. Swiping past his notifications, I pulled up an empty text thread and typed in a name for a number I’d finally gotten this week.

Me:

Hey, Goldy. Can I ask you a favor?

Her text back was immediate, the grey bubbles disappearing as soon as they appeared because she typed so fast.

Goldyn:

Anything

Me:

Can I host a book launch party at Read the Room next spring?

I chewed the inside of my cheek, waiting for her reply. If I finished the book in January, I could have it edited and ready for release by April. Right?

Grey bubbles bounced. And bounced some more. Then her message came through.