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His arms hesitate for a second before he hugs me back. “I’m being overprotective, Dangerous Girl. There are days where I can’t believe you’re here with us. I fully expect a phone call, a Queen’s guard visit, something that will take you from us.”

Looking up at him, I give him a feral grin. “That’s why we have all of our plans in place. I’m not going back,” I vow.

“There are too many ears for this conversation. Let’s walk, Silla,” he says, pulling away. My hand feels tiny as he takes it, jerking his head toward a cobblestone path out of the square.

Following him, I look around at how beautiful this town is even in the filtered winter’s sunlight. I see a few people huddled together on the ground in dark alleys as we pass and frown. There’s so much work to be done for this kingdom that I wonder if Cinder even cares that there are people in her realm that are starving and homeless.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about so I can be sure to attempt to fix it, Mistress,” Kenzo insists, looking back at me.

Kal smirks at the moniker, but I don’t care. I love that his brother is so attuned to my needs.

“I hate that I worried Grayson by not telling him where I was going, I hate that temperatures are dropping and there are people outside who clearly don’t have homes to go to. I’m angry at my step-sister, whose only care is when her next orgasm is, and I’m worried that she’s not mentally well due to our last conversation,” I tell him. My words run together as I word vomit my thoughts, flushing as I raise my hand to my mouth.

Sidney snorts, making me even more embarrassed.

“Pet, you can’t save the kingdom of all of its troubles today,” he reminds me. “I love how big your heart is, and I swear I’m not making fun of you. No one talks about this, but this kind of poverty is happening all over.”

“I hate it,” I snarl, huffing out a breath. A cloud follows the action, and it really is damn cold.

“What else are you thinking?” Kenzo asks, turning so he walks backward to watch me.

“You’re going to fall on your behind,” I warn.

“Why don’t you curse?” Kal asks, and I know that he truly wants to know. “Is it a prudish thing or what?”

The path gets steep, and I bite my lip as I see it drops sharply. “I’ll tell you both if Falcon turns and walks properly,” I tell them.

“Don’t overwhelm the girl,” Gray chuckles as Kenzo turns just in time to avoid falling down the hill.

“First off, I am thinking uncharitable thoughts that I shouldn’t repeat in public,” I begin, thinking about how I should bring a knife with me to dinner with my sister and brother in law. “I’m also thinking about how I need Sidney to buy me a few blades that I can hide for next week, and that our previous plan is too simple for their deaths.” My voice drops so it won’t echo. “My thoughts are scary. As far as why I don’t curse in public, Cinder doesn’t so it’s easier if I don’t either.”

“Easier, how?” Kal asks darkly.

“Kal, you’re being rude,” Kenzo warns.

“Easier so I don’t slip up in some way when I’m around her,” I answer with a sigh. “She’s already angry at me for her own twisted reasons.”

I don’t really want to get into how angry she was at me for having my period, or for refusing to stay longer at the castle. The guys know because I was white as a sheet when I got back to the apartment and the groundskeeper had texted Kenzo worriedly when I didn’t reemerge after an hour.

Kal bites the rest of his questions back with a nod. I get it, my life isn’t normal, and I understand being curious. However, I don’t want to get into it all.

“Baby, you’re crying,” Gray murmurs under his breath, and I blink quickly, realizing he’s right.

“I’m sorry,” I gulp, swiping at my tears. “I’m in my head right now, and every avenue is dark and twisted.”

“We’re clear of people now, talk to me, Baby,” Gray says, pulling me to a stop. There’s a cliff to my left, and nothing but rocks and mountains around us now. I pull air in and out as if simply to remind myself I’m safe and free for the moment. The town is at our back now, and I have no idea where we’re going. That’s not one of my many worries though.

The ‘for now’ is really bothering me. My entire future hinges on possible outcomes if everything goes right. I can’t go back to being Cinder’s perfect doll.

“I can’t go back,” I gasp, shaking my head. “It felt so normal to be at the castle yet so wrong, and I can’t wrap my head around that. Cinder is losing her mind. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner, I kept wondering why she was so much crueler now.”

“Her losing her grasp of reality isn’t an excuse,” Isaac says, moving to my side to brush back my hair. The wind is picking up, and Andrya's and my hair are sure to be a tangled mess later today. “You can’t take responsibility for your step-sister’s missteps, especially when she’s hurt so many people. You’re one of her victims, Little Hacker.”

“I know,” I huff, my eyes stinging from the cold and the damned water that insists on leaking from them. I shake my hands, hoping to dispel some of the bubbling anxiety inside of me. I don’t want to have a panic attack, but it’s not looking good right now. “I don’t remember her being so awful, or maybe she hid it better. Cinder pretty much sold Anastasia into marriage in a bid to establish a solid relationship with her husband.”

“Cinder isn’t a good person,” Andrya reminds me. “Even when Ayden, Sidney, and I were offered our deal by her, it was for her own fucked up reasons. The reform camp is a funnel of spies for her own political agenda, and the five of us ran it for her.”

I know all of this. I do. So why am I crying?