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I was doing so well too.

“I need my computer,” I say, my voice sounding as if it’s far away. “Sidney, can you work on a poison that’s longer acting, please? We need to be far away from the castle before it starts working. I just need to get through that dinner.”

“I’ll be with you,” Ayden reminds me.

“So will I, Dangerous Girl. I want you armed,” Grayson says, pulling my hair tie out so my hair tumbles down. I don’t have time to protest what he’s doing, because he’s pulling on it, forcing me to look back at him. “I bet you’d look sexy as fuck with weapons in all this pretty hair. Sidney, can you figure out poison laced hair pins or combs that won’t hurt Silla?”

I barely hear Sidney’s response as Grayson’s mouth covers mine. His warm lips give me something to hold on to. Whimpering, I hold tightly to his neck.

“We will try to provide for every eventuality, Baby. Just keep breathing for me, okay?” he asks.

It feels like a solemn promise as I whisper, “I promise.”

Isaac hands me my computer, and I pull up a map of the castle that I hid in the Dark Web. I’ve been cataloging every turn, hidden walkway, and entrance in the months that I’ve been living there. Well, once I was outside of the dungeon, of course.

“I never wanted it to get to this point,” I rasp. “I don’t… I never wanted to be queen.”

“You’re the perfect person for it,” Kenzo says at my feet. “Mistress, can I be frank?”

“Always,” I murmur. Reaching out, I can’t help myself from ruffling his hair. Kenzo leans into my touch, and it settles me. I’m so used to just barely surviving, it's nice to be able to offer someone comfort.

“You’re very different than I thought you were. I know better than to judge someone. Kal is supposed to know better too,” he mutters. A look of sadness and remorse crosses his face, and I just want to help him. The issue is that I’m still hurt by the assumptions people make about me. I’m the victim in many ways.

“Before you get sucked into the computer, go get your period situated,” Sidney reminds me, and I jump.

How did I forget about that? As if it was waiting to make a reappearance, I wince as my cramps hit again.

“I’ll be back,” I mutter, a bit embarrassed.

“It’s biology, Mistress,” Kenzo reminds me, lips twitching.

“I’m making you tea for the pain,” Sidney says, turning. “The emergency tea the other day is going to make your period worse.”

Standing, I shrug. “Better than the alternative of being pregnant.” I sigh. I avoid eye contact as I take the bag of feminine products and rush to the bathroom to put a tampon in as well as a pad.

This is one of the first periods I’ve had in a little over a year. The stress, being starved, all of those things have contributed to it basically disappearing. I almost didn’t realize what was happening.

This is going to suck so much.

Slipping into my bedroom after, I exchange my sweater for one of Isaac’s sweatshirts. It smells like him, and I need comfort. When I emerge, I see the tea is steeping and waiting for me.

“Isaac, will you go through that map with Andrya, please? You’ll need to know the ins and outs of the castle. We also need to figure out how to plant people in the kitchen, guards’ dining hall, and a guard or two at the servants’ entrances,” I order.

Wincing, I growl under my breath. I hate being a woman. I despise the unwelcome looks, the touches, the idea that I’m property to give, take, and even sell. It may be hormones, but I’m super pissed off right now.

“You look as if you could shoot lasers out of your eyes,” Grayson comments. My lips twitch despite myself and I shrug.

“I feel that way. I also hurt. This is my first period in a year,” I explain aloud, curling up in a corner on the couch.

Ayden grabs a heated blanket, plugging it in and laying it over my stomach. “It’s gonna suck, but we got you,” he says softly, brushing his lips over my forehead.

“How?” Kenzo asks, surprised. “Don’t women have monthly periods unless they’re pregnant?”

“Stress and malnutrition,” I tell him. “This year isn’t a chapter of my life that I like to read out loud.”

Ayden’s lips press tightly against each other and I know that he agrees. We’ve all had a really rough time.

Taking a sip of my tea, I grimace. “I love you, but this is vile, Sidney. You clearly are trying to torture me.”