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She doesn’t know the full story. She deserves to know it before giving me this loyalty.

I’d never be able to live with myself if I let myself grow closer to her, and she leaves me after she learns the truth.

“What do you know about the big riot?” I ask. I’m careful to keep my hands by my sides, even though all I want to do is reach out to her.

“Not much. I only know it happened when I was a little kid. My parents didn’t tell me much about it though, so I only heard about it in kindergarten.”

She’s twenty-one so it must’ve happened when she was around six years old.

“A bunch of alphas and betas from the Southside were really unhappy with the way a lot of omegas, even ones born in the Southside found their way up North. They decided the only way to fix their problem was to start a riot and try and kidnap omegas from the Northside.” I swallow hard, my fists clenching at my sides as the memories I try to keep locked away swirl in my mind.

I feel her soft fingertips brushing against the back of my hand and weave our fingers together. It’s like she’s the only thing tethering me to this reality. Because she is. She’s the only thing that’s keeping me from being swept away into the red haze of my past. I sink into the blue of her eyes, letting her peppermint perfume swirl around me.

“There was an extremist group that was trying to make demands of the Northside but no one was taking them seriously. So when they came, there was bloodlust in the air.” I focus on the soft feel of her skin as I brush my thumb slowly back and forth across the back of her hand. “They had no regard for the fact a lot of the omegas in the Northside, especially ones who came from the Southside, already had families and alphas of their own.” I swallow hard. “My mom was one of those omegas.”

I close my eyes, struggling to pull in a breath as my throat closes.

“Oh Kane,” she says, squeezing my hand gently. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if it’s too hard?—”

“No,” I interrupt. “I have to. Please, I have to get this out now.”

“Okay. Whatever you need,” she says, her voice as soothing to me as every other aspect of her presence.

“They killed my parents in front of me.”

A small gasp leaves her throat and her eyes grow wide with shock. “Oh my god.”

Her eyes fly to the bookshelf in the corner of the room. My mom’s corner. The corner no one’s touched since my mom was murdered. Until her.

If I could have my way, I’d want her to have her own corner in my library. Right next to my mom’s. She would’ve loved Luna.

But I can’t let myself dream. Luna has the power to crush those dreams in her tiny, delicate hands and I need to be prepared for that.

“That was the first time I ever killed anyone.”

I don’t remember that part of the night. All I remember was a red haze falling over everything I saw.

And the knife.

And the gun.

The tools they used to kill my parents were the tools I used to kill them.

Someone made the mistake of not holding me down and leaving the same knife they slit my mom’s throat with in front of me.

Next thing I knew, I had the knife in one hand, the gun in the other, and I was covered in blood and surrounded by dead bodies.

“I’m so sorry, that must’ve been so horrible for you to go through. How old were you?"

“Thirteen.”

Anger sparks in her eyes and my chest squeezes.

I drop her hands, staring down at my trembling fingers. If I think about it too hard, I can still see the blood underneath my fingernails. I can still feel the warm, sticky wetness.

I turn my gaze to the ceiling, bracing myself. She knows I’m a murderer now. Everything is on the table.

Now that I know of her existence, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to forget her, but I can protect her from a distance. I don’t have to be her alpha to protect her.