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It’s another hour before Asa gets through the post-game interviews and showers. He and Terrell meet us in the lounge with the other players’ wives. Surprisingly, they’re both smiling and joking with one another.
We end up at a steak house in Phoenix in a private booth while Crew eats his body weight in steak. Of course he’s wide awake and it’s freaking eleven o’clock at night. Product of living this life we have.
The conversation around the table doesn’t center on the game like you’d think with two football players. Nope. They’re talking about cars, hockey, and kids.
Me? I’m sadly… in pain. I’m not sure if it was carrying Crew down four flights of stairs or the excitement of the game.
Terrell notices first. “I’ve seen that look before,” he says, chewing his steak slowly. It’s true, he has. I went into labor with Crew while Terrell and I were Christmas shopping in downtown Seattle. I had been looking for something special for Asa, and four hours later, I gave him something far more valuable. His first son.
Asa’s eyes slide to mine as he sets his drink down. “You okay, honey?”
I want to go as far as to say I am, but I know I’m not. I’m in labor. “I uh….” Just as those words leave my mouth, my water breaks at the table.
“Oh my God, yes!” Joey yells.
From there, it’s a rush to the hospital and delivery room. Our son Scout Garrett Lawson is born two hours later with Asa, Terrell, and Joey by my side.
As I hold my new baby boy, his brother fast asleep in his uncle Terrell’s arms, I have to smile. These people, they’re mine. All of them. They got me through the last five years and gave me a perfectly imperfect life. One I never thought possible.
I stare at Scout, memorizing every detail of his precious face, and then my eyes drift to Asa, his face beaming with pride. “He’s beautiful,” he tells me, his lips pressing to my forehead. “Just like his mother.”
I hand his son over to him. “He has your mom’s eyes.”
Taking Scout gently in his arms, he peeks at his face, tears in his eyes. “Wow. He does. He’s a spitting image of her.”
I like to think Asa’s mom is watching over us and now we have a little piece of her here with us. I know he thinks about his mom more at times like these, wishing that she was sharing these moments with us. Asa was devoted to his mother and in his way, is fully devoted to his kids, to me. He shows us every day that he’s here for us. Despite the pressures of the NFL, we come first. He’s kept the promise he made the night that he saved me and has been by my side every day. I reach for his hand. “Thank you, for this life you’ve given me.”
He smiles at me, his eyes lifting from the baby to me. He rocks the baby lightly in his arms. “Thank you for the life you give me.”
His love, it’s strong and loyal, and it saved me that terrible night and so many nights after. He’s become my most trusted friend, my lover, my strength. He once said I saved him during those dark days when all he wanted was to throw away his chance at greatness, to give in to the temptation to lash out at Roman. But he saved me every day until I was strong enough to save myself. I don’t know why I was lucky enough to have Asa in my life, but I am forever grateful that he is.
We are proof that out of terrible circumstances, something beautiful can grow.