Page 50

She looks down at the phone and tucks her hair behind her ears. “What?”
“I love you.”
She wipes tears from her eyes. “I love you.”
Opening the door, I hear her invite Joey in. I’m quick and strip my shirt off. “Barrette?”
“Jesus.” She looks down at the phone. “What now?”
I smile and tilt the phone lower so she can see my chest and stomach. “If you decide you need a break, call me tomorrow and we can you know, make use of Facetime again.”
“Oh, I….” She swallows visibly, her eyes on my chest, and her mouth opens in a tiny gasp.
Joey takes the phone. “So that’s what Lawson looks like without a shirt.” She hands the phone back to Barrette. “Does he have a twin brother?”
Barrette starts giggling. “No.” And then she looks at me, narrowing her eyes and pointing her finger at the screen. “I have to go make Joey’s parents love me and adopt me. Stop teasing me.”
She finally hangs up on me because I won’t stop talking and then I smile because fuck, it felt good to flirt with her. I can’t remember the last time we had a conversation like that.
I THINK ABOUTdriving home that night, but it’s late when I get done with practice. The room is quiet, Terrell having flown home on a red-eye flight to see his mom in Baton Rouge for Thanksgiving. He’ll spend most of his time on a plane, but he says it’s worth it to spend time with his mom even if it’s just for a meal.
I have to agree with him. I’d love to spend even just an hour with my mom. I think about flying back to Ohio soon, but I know given my extreme moodiness these days, it’s probably not a great idea given how I left that state.
Speaking of my mood, as I’m sure you can guess, I don’t talk to Roman. Hell, I don’t even acknowledge him, on or off the field. I control the plays, and for him, that’s bad news when he’s looking for yards. Fuck that guy.
Early Thursday morning, I head home.
The moment I’m out of my car, my thoughts drift back, as if they never left, to Barrette. I think about calling her but decide against it.
I get back home in under two hours, which is pretty good considering the holiday traffic. I head up to my room and set my bag on my bed. It looks the same as it did when I left it in late July. I open my bag and pull out a couple hoodies and jeans. I throw my Husky hoodie on and then find my hat. As I stand there in my room and watch the sky turn lighter knowing the snow is on the way, I hear heavy breathing and the patter of little feet. It’s my favorite little monster. I smile when I feel the tug on my jeans and reach down to pick her up.
I hold her close to my chest. “How’s my girl doing?”
Livia smiles at me, reaching for my hat. She says something, but who knows what that might be. It’s more of the toddler noise I can’t understand just yet.
“How are you, pretty girl? Keeping out of trouble?”
I don’t expect her to talk, but she starts saying something and acting like I should know. I hear a knock and Carlin appears at my door. She smiles, taking in the sight of us. “She misses you when you’re gone.”
I set Livia down on my bed and sit beside her. She goes through my entire bag digging out clothes and the football I have in there. With a smile, I watch her eyes light up as she rolls the ball around on the bed. “I thought she would forget me.”
“She’ll never forget you, Asa.” Carlin sits down beside Livia and runs her hand through her blonde curls. “Every Saturday afternoon she’s glued to our television with your dad.”
I snort. “He watches my games?”
“He never misses one.”
I don’t know why, but it surprises me that my dad watches my games. He wanted me to play for Oregon or even Ohio State where he went. Never for the Huskies. Wasn’t even on his radar. He didn’t think I’d get the attention I needed to go pro playing for UW. It wasn’t about going pro for me; it was about being with Barrette. I almost let the scholarship go after the accident, but I was committed at that point, and I never back out of a promise. I went because Barrette needed to get away from this town and I knew there I could protect her.
I think Carlin can see how tired I am and what the last month has done to me. “Are you okay? School and football getting to you?”
Looking down at Livia, she’s handing me a hat, so I take off the one I have on and put the one she gives me on top of my head, all the while she’s giggling like we are sharing a secret between just the two of us. She does this twice more before I answer Carlin; it’s my way of stalling. I’m not okay.
“No… it’s just been a rough month.”
“I can tell. How’s Barrette doing? I’ve been meaning to call her and check-in. I put together a care package for her. Just girly stuff to make her feel better. I’ll give it to you before you leave.”
I run my hand through my hair and exhale a heavy breath. “It’s day by day with her. I just… I try to be there as much as I can for her, but sometimes, I don’t think I’m enough.”