Page 29 of Ruled Out

“I know, Mia, and I’m not treating you like one. But sometimes, you have to put your trust in someone one hundred percent, and right now, I’m asking you to do that with me. It’smy duty to protect you from your dad’s wrath, but mainly from me.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

JESSIE

It must be some kind of record when I’m the first to get to the gym on Monday morning.

Fuck me, even Zach isn’t here.

My next therapy session with the team psych, Ashley, is scheduled right after this, and the thought of walking into her room and talking with her settles heavily in the pit of my stomach. There’s only one person I’ll consider sharing with.

Maybe Mia thought I’d opened up with her because of the alcohol, but the truth is, that night in her dorm room, I wanted to talk—or at least offer her a part of me.

That was, until her friend arrived home and interrupted us.

The temptation to pull out my phone, scroll to her contact—which I have saved underSfor the nickname I gave her years ago—and type her a message, asking how her day was, is overwhelming.

I’d thought I knew Mia Jenkins, but on Sunday morning, she surprised me—she didn’t judge me for the state I was in on Saturday night. All she wanted was to understand, and shestarted with my tattoos. She asked questions about me that I wanted to answer. I’d meant it when I said she made me feel safe. She always had. But in that moment, on her bed in her dorm, I’d never wanted to kiss her so badly. She’d caught a glimpse of the real me, the ink that represented so much. She didn’t get irritated when I struggled to explain what they were and how they had gotten there. Instead, she sat and ate pancakes with me thirty minutes later. Talking to me about hockey.

I know she wants me to open up and tell her more.

And I want to let her right the fuck in, crack the door and give her access to all of me. If only the monsters I can’t control wouldn’t walk through with her.

“Fuck me, you’re here—and early. Put the flag out or something.” Zach walks past me, heading to the changing rooms.

I pocket my phone and follow behind him.

“You disappeared fast on Saturday night.” Zach pulls off his jacket and starts changing his sneakers. “One second, you had been having a drink with us all; the next, you were making your excuses to head to the restroom and never came back.”

I pull at the back of my neck. “I told you I wasn’t up for going out. I had a drink with you guys.”

“Would’ve been nice if you’d at least answered our texts and calls. You know, to let us know where you were.”

I would have if I’d known myself. But somehow,I’m in a random bar and on my fourth scotchdidn’t quite sit right.

“Yeah, sorry, man,” I reply.

Three more guys enter the room, followed by Jensen. He doesn’t even acknowledge me as he pushes past and immediately begins getting changed.

Shit.

“How’re June and Will?” I ask, approaching cautiously.

One thing about Jensen Jones, no matter how pissed he is, the second you mention his wife—or in this case, his kids—our crazy-ass goalie melts into a puddle.

“Don’t try that one,” he bites out, still not looking at me.

“Huh. That moody then?”

“No, Jessie. Just fucking perplexed as to why you constantly go AWOL.” He turns to me, a serious look on his face. “Are you seeing her again?”

My eyes flare, and he clearly catches himself as his head darts around the locker room. Thankfully, everyone is busy laughing and joking, and some others, including Zach, are already in the gym.

“I’ve seen her, yeah.Seeingher? No.”

“And that’s where you were on Saturday night, right?”

“Yeah. I went to her. To talk.”