Page 128 of Ruled Out

Words stick in my throat as I roll my lips together, and he claps a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it in his palm.

“At the risk of this sounding condescending, I’m so fucking proud of you, Jessie, and I want to offer you whatever help you need to process and deal with what you’ve been through. Even if it’s just an ear.” He looks over my shoulder as my teammates take the ice behind me. “Something tells me you’ve got plenty of those though.”

Tipping my head over my shoulder, I catch a glimpse of Jensen leaning against the boards on the other side of the ice, watching us intensely as he takes a drink from his bottle.

“I do,” I say, turning back to Graham. “But I could always use one more.”

Something like relief crosses his face. “You’ve been through a lot.”

I pocket the watch in my sweatpants and tap my knuckles on the boards. “There’s this form of therapy I’ve been offered a few times. It’s a lot, and takes it out of people as they revisit some of the worst moments in their past. I’ll be the first to admit it scares the shit out of me. But this time, I want to do it. I don’t want to go for hockey or my career. I want to go for me …” I pause and take a deep breath. “I want Mia to be my wife and give her more thanjust tomorrow or next fucking week. To do that, I think I need to take my psych’s recommendation. I know the trauma will be there forever, and I’ll never be able to turn back the clock for my mom. But I want to try to be everything your daughter deserves.”

He shakes his head. “You already are that, Jessie.”

“I want to get to a point where I’m waiting for our children to be born, not for the next chance to open a bottle. Instead of drowning my emotions, I want to embrace them. Good and bad.”

I reach out my hand, and he takes it in his and then wraps his other palm around it.

“I get it, Jessie. I get it.”

I stare into his green eyes, and for the first time since his wife died, I see the warmth of his daughter in them.

“Here’s the thing, Graham. When I promise Mia forever, I want to fucking mean it.”

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

MIA

Ican’t claim I’m not like the other girls and that shopping doesn’t do anything for me because it does.

But grocery shopping? That can go to hell.

I would literally order takeout every night just to avoid going to the store if I thought my waistline could take it.

And the absolute worst part of it all? Hauling the bags you just paid way too much for, thanks to inflation, from your car and into your apartment and then throwing out the food you bought the last time you were on a health kick and replacing it with a fresher version.

The only redeeming part of this entire thing? Half the ingredients that are now sitting in our refrigerator, I’ll be using them tonight to cook beef tacos for Jessie when he gets home from a four-night away series in Boston.

Kate, Felicity, and Luna weren’t kidding when they said the days they were on the road felt way longer than a regular twenty-four hours.

With an iced latte in hand, I take a seat at the kitchen island and bring up the method for tonight’s meal on my phone.

I might be a terrible cook, but I’m determined to do something nice for my boyfriend, especially since he’s always the one making dinner for us.

I’m halfway through learning about homemade guacamole when my phone buzzes in my hand.

Jessie

Where’s my girl at?

I catch myself smiling down at my screen.

Me

Nursing an iced latte at the kitchen island. Also—and I’m not ashamed to admit it—I’m clock-watching.

Jessie

Me too.