Page 13 of Ruled Out

I can smell the booze on his breath. Something I used to gloss over when my dad discussed Jessie’s state of mind in board meetings. Something he started hiding more and more successfully with strong mouthwash and gum back when he played for the Destroyers. Something I’m sure he does before he sees his current teammates. But today, I can tell he’s too far gone to care.

He hands me the book and shakes his head. “Nah, I came to talk. Is there, like, a place we can get a drink or something around here?”

I quirk a brow in response. “Sure. If you can promise to stay in this café for longer than thirty seconds.”

CHAPTER SIX

JESSIE

“What are you looking for?”

Mia sits opposite me, watching me look around the small boho-style café opposite the college library. Other than a couple of students getting takeout coffees, we are the only people in here, and no one has recognized me—thank fuck. I’m not surprised; I look like shit, and I could tell Mia noticed when her mouth popped open in shock after I turned toward her in between the shelves.

Fuck, was I relieved to see her. Not having any idea where she was staying or if she was even on campus at this time of year, I knew I was taking a risk. But jumping the barrier in the library and hanging out at the back after every practice was worth it. I had been ready to give up and message her on social media, but I wanted this meeting to be in person. That way I could look at her. Smell her scent. And the second I did, I knew I had to spend more time with her. So, I suggested grabbing a drink.

Beyond this moment, I’m not sure what I expected to get out of coming here. But my feet kept taking me back to the library, even though I knew she’d see me in this state.

I’ve hit the bottle hard each night since Mom called me and asked for more money, triggering memories. And then seeing that guy’s arm around Mia in front of the Space Needle. I guess I came here wanting at least one answer. Even if it’s none of my fucking business.

Is she dating?

“Making sure Graham didn’t bug this place.”

I look at Mia as she holds a cup of cocoa between her hands. Her deep red nail polish matches her red half-finger gloves.

“He’s not that controlling,” she replies, blowing away the steam.

This is awkward. I don’t know why I expected it not to be. The past couple of interactions we had have made it exactly that, and it’s all my fault.

Every time I’ve seen Mia since that day her dad caught us on her bed, my brain has done the exact opposite of what my heart wants.

Just looking at her unearths all the worst emotions within me—hurt, rejection, a complete feeling of worthlessness. I’m not good enough for her. I know I’m not. I never will be. And deep down, I know she feels that too.

But looking at her also stirs an insane need within me.

“Are you seeing him?” I blurt out of nowhere.

Fuck.

My heart pounds in my chest as she cocks her head to the side and sets her mug down on the table. I’m hot and sweating, and my breathing has turned erratic.

“What do you mean?”

I pray I don’t leave marks as I drag my nails down the sides of my face. “You know who, Mia. Space Needle Guy.”

“Space Needle Guy? Jessie, are you okay?” Mia tucks a piece of her silky, dark hair behind her ear.

She had bangs cut in since I last saw her properly, and, fuck, is she gorgeous. Her rosy cheeks are prominent and draw me in. But, as always, it’s the gold speck in the green iris of her left eye that captivates me. It sparkles like glitter.

“I’m fine,” I say, shaking away my thoughts and trying to concentrate past staring at her. My head is still fuzzy as fuck from last night’s vodka.

“I don’t know who Space Needle Guy is, Jessie.” Mia’s eyes go wide as if she suddenly connected the dots. “Wait, you mean Leo?”

She half laughs as if it were the most insane thought ever, and relief washes through me, making my head feel slightly lighter.

“Yeah, Leo, if that’s his name. He had his arm around your shoulders.”

She blurts out another laugh. “He’s just a friend, and he was showing me around the city. Tara, another one of my friends, took the photo. We all took photos of each other.”