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I had blamed Jason for so long for making her unhappy, and now here I was, causing her the same kind of pain. But what was even worse was that she was pregnant with my child. Our child.
And so far, that child had been growing inside a mother who was sad, scared, and who probably felt very alone.
Those were feelings I knew all too well. Feelings that had been my constant companion as a child after my mother’s death. I had vowed never to feel that way again, and yet, that was the type of pain I’d inflicted on Mya.
“It’s regrettable that you felt compelled to seek out the doctor’s help?—”
“Compelled?” she said bitterly, still not looking at me. “You gave me no choice in the matter. I haven’t had a choice in anything since you showed up on my doorstep. Don’t pretendthat you care now. You didn’t care then. You don’t care now. The baby won’t change that.”
My jaw tightened. Is that how she thought I felt?
“I do care?—”
“Stop—”
“Mya—”
“Stop!” she screamed.
No one spoke to me that way and lived. I demanded respect, order, and obedience. Yet here she was, challenging me at every turn.
Her hands were shaking. I’d upset her. Pushed her too hard.
I grew angry with myself. I needed to try a different approach. Anything she felt, the baby felt. It was my job to protect them both…even from myself.
She continued talking. Her voice shook.
“You blame me for wanting to leave, for wanting to escape. What choice did I have, Dario? Your life is full of violence. You don’t care about anyone else but yourself. And the one person I thought I could trust, you sicked your team on. You don’t care about anyone. Anyone! And least of all, me.”
For the first time in my life, I didn’t have a rebuttal. I felt raw, torn open from the inside out. Is that how she felt? Is that how she really felt? Is that how I had made her feel?
I told myself that she was wrong, irrational, and emotional. It was my job to make sure she saw reason.
“You have a right to feel any way you want to feel.”
“No kidding.”
Is this who I’d made her become? She sounded bitter and mean.
I pushed forward anyway. “Despite how you perceive the situation?—”
“How I perceive the situation? Are you fucking kidding me? You forced me into a marriage I didn’t want. You took away allmy agency. You stole me from my life, Dario! That’s what the fucking situation is!”
Fuck it. The kid gloves were coming off. I tried to be gentle. Fuck it.
“Your life? I stole you from what exactly, Mya? A life of imprisonment? A life of being a number in a tiny cell? Is that what I ‘stole’ you from? Even if you got away with killing Nico, which you definitely would not have, by the way, what kind of life do you think you would have led after killing someone in cold blood? You think you would have pulled the trigger, and your precious Jason would have just sprung up from the dead? One life for another? Clean and simple?”
“Don’t you dare mention Jason.”
“Why? Isn’t that who you want to run to? The same man who got you into this mess?”
“You didn’t know him.”
“I knew about him.”
Her voice was cold as she looked at me, saying, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Jason worked for Matteo.”