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“What epidural?” she said, looking at me sharply.
We were in a local hospital that Dr. Kali was affiliated with. She’d been surprised to see him, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing.
“I didn’t think you would be here. I thought you left me!” she had cried.
“Never, my dear,” Dr. Kali had responded. “Just had to talk some sense into Mr. di Cecco. Isn’t that right?”
I had grunted in reply. I’d wanted to punish him somehow for betraying me, but Luis had made me see the error of myways. Luis really was a good guy, and I could see why Jason had been his friend.
True friends were hard to come by nowadays.
My anger at what I had thought of as the doctor’s betrayal was really just my short-sightedness. Without the doctor saving me from myself and giving me much-needed guidance, I wouldn’t have survived for this long.
It was he who deserved my loyalty, not the other way around.
“I want a natural birth,” she said once the contraction had subsided.
A minute later, she was begging for an epidural.
“I’ll be back,” I said, looking for the nurse I was so out of my element that I had to resist the urge to pull anyone in the room wearing a white coat and beg for help.
Finally, I rounded up a nurse and insisted that he come to Mya’s rescue immediately. He seemed a little annoyed but reluctantly followed me back into the room.
“Dr. Kali!”
They shook hands and started to chitchat. Mya cleared her throat loudly and shot them both a look that had the power to make me feel small. It seemed to have the same effect on the doctor and the nurse, who both rushed to her side.
She stated again that she wanted an epidural now, and the nurse went to get the right team member to do it.
Once it was done, Mya even relaxed enough to fall asleep.
“Does she know?” Dr. Kali asked.
“Know what?”
I was being obtuse. I knew what he was talking about.
“No, she doesn’t,” I finally said with a sigh.
“Don’t you think you should tell her?”
I pretended that it didn’t happen. I never let myself think about it. Mya and the baby were my future. My past…I didn’t want to acknowledge.
“That’s in my past. She doesn’t need to know.”
“I think it would help her to understand.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“All right?—”
I turned and looked at the doctor and said, “I mean, no…I can’t do it, but maybe you can.”
He studied me for a long time and then nodded. “I’ll tell her.”
“Thank you.”
I left the room, finding the air too thick to breathe. My thoughts were jumbled. I felt that my past and my present were going to collide and I wasn’t ready. The doctor was right. She deserved to know, but I couldn’t be the one to tell her.