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“Yes. It is. Which is why I had to wait until you and Cian came along. I’m very grateful to be able to leave them in such good hands.”
“You should stay closer.”
I put my hands on his chest and push. He takes a step back. “I don’t want to stay closer.”
“It’s still law school. It’s still what you want.”
“I want Loyola.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to see whatIcan do on my own.” I blurt it out, but it’s the truth. I’vethoughtit several times, I’ve just never said it. I take a breath. “Scarlett’s never been on her own without me, but I’ve never been without her either. I want to see how I do. It’s three years. It’s not like it has to be forever if I hate it.”
“You will hate it,” he says.
I frown. “Hey.”
“You will. You are one of the most big-hearted, community-oriented people I know.”
I like that. But I try not to let it sway me. Or give me doubts. I do like having a community of people I know and like and trust around me. And while I’ve built that in each place Scarlett and I have lived, my sister and her little girl are the common denominators in my community, the center of it for me.
“I can find that in New Orleans. I’ll have classmates, and I’ll have people at work. I still have friends there.” But it will be two years since I’ve been back or even talked to a few of them.
“Stay closer,” he says. “Let me take care of you, too.” His voice is still rough, but now it sounds more pleading than commanding.
“I want to take care of myself,” I tell him.
“You’ll be lonely.”
I nod. “Maybe. Probably. Sometimes at least. But being lonely isn’t bad.”
Now, he looks upset and confused. Probably upset to think that I might feel something negative. Henry isn’t good when “his” people, the people he’s decided he should take care of, whether or not he’s been hired to do that, aren’t happy and secure.
But I think he’s also confused because he truly doesn’t understand the statement “being lonely isn’t bad”. I sincerely doubt he’s been lonely for one minute since becoming a part of the O’Grady inner circle. Just from what I’ve found reading about them online, and listening to the gossip podcast out of Cara, and watching him with Cian, and now with the family over the last few days, the O’Gradys are only alone if they want to be. No one getslonely.
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Noted.”
“But you’re still going to.”
“Yes.”
“So just when I am coming to Emerald to stay, you’re going to leave.”
I shake my head. This guy…
“I’m not leavingyou, Henry. This isn’t about you. Like I said, all of this was in motion long before I even knew who you were. This has been my plan and dream for a long time and, though ironic, I can actually go pursue itnowbecauseyou’re in Emerald.”
“I can…come to New Orleans to visit. You’ll come back to Emerald too, sometimes. We can?—”
I cut him off. “No.”
“You won’t even try long distance?”
My heart squeezes. I want to be in love. I’m pretty conventional that way. I want a solid, strong, happy relationship.
But Henry Dean isn’t a conventional guy. In a lot of very wonderful and interesting ways, sure, but still, definitely not conventional.