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“You willnotbe in the way. It’s not like she won’t be glad to see you,” I say, guessing at her feelings now.
“That’s not it.” Ruby reaches out and squeezes my arm. “This isgood. I’ll admit that I was a little worried about what it would be like once I started school. Would there be a time when something happened, and Scarlett or Mariah would want me to come home to help out? It’s how it’salwaysbeen, Henry. We’re a unit. A team. And we’re amazing. But now I don’t have to worry.” She smiles, and it seems completely genuine. “I can go to school and not worry. I can fully focus and not wonder if I’m going to feel the need to go back to Emerald. Cian’s there, stepping up, and Scarlett is letting him. It’s awesome.”
What feels like a ribbon of panic sneaks through my gut.
I’m not ready to leave her. I’m not ready for goodbye.
“Don’t you want to pack your own stuff? Say goodbye? Have a going away party at the bar?”
She laughs. “No way.”
“What? Really? But these are your people. Your community.”
“I know. And I’m going to miss them like hell. Saying goodbye to them will suck no matter how I do it. This way it feels kind of less official and big and sad. This feels like I’m just away on a trip and I’ll see them soon when I come home. It’ll just be a visit, but by then we’ll have all adjusted to the new normal.”
“It’s a long time until classes start.” I feel like I’m grasping at straws.
I’m also reeling a bit from her not wanting to go back. From beingableto not go back.
“I know, but I can get settled and enjoy New Orleans and feel really ready by then. I’ve never done full-time classes. Once they start, it will be intense. I need time to prepare.”
I try to think of another excuse, something else to convince her.Anythingelse to say.
“I’m not ready to say goodbye,” I finally tell her. Might as well be completely honest.
That makes her smile fade. She swallows, and nods. “I know. Me either. But I’m never going to be. It’s not going to be any easier if I go back and then leave. In fact, it will be harder.”
She’s right. I know she is. But I still don’t want this.
“I’m disappointed,” I tell her. “I thought you’d want to check in on them, make sure they’re really okay, and that April and Elliot get moved, and that you’d want to see what happens with the church guys and the free cinnamon rolls.”
“I’m sorry you’re disappointed.” She frowns as if she really doesn’t like that word. “But none of that needs me. It will all be okay whether I go back or not.”
“Yes, because I’m going to go back and take care of it.”
Nowshelooks disappointed. “All of that will be okay without you, too. You could sta?—”
“Stop.” I cut her off before she can finish that sentence. “Don’t make me say no, Gem,” I say, my tone pleading. “Please.”
She presses her lips together.
“I need to get to the airport,” I tell her. “I can drop you off at the apartment.”
She shakes her head. “Why don’t you just send Sammy down here after he takes you to the airport?”
“You’re going to stay here?”
“Yeah.” She looks around. “It’s really nice to step into a strong, fully formed, happy community. One that takes you in instead of…”
“Being the one that puts it together?” I ask.
“Yeah.” She smiles up at me, a little sadly. “I expect I’ll put one together eventually. But I like this one.”
“You’ll probably put more than one together.”
She just lifts a shoulder, not bothering to argue.
“This is what I wanted for you,” I tell her. “I wantedyouto be taken care of for a change. I wanted you to feel what you do for everyone else.”