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Which makes it far more dangerous to my heart.
“You did grab me and kiss me,” she reminds me.
I sure fucking did. “I want it on record that I showed extreme restraint today. The fact that you left that bar with all the clothes on that you came in with is a testament to that.”
She looks like she’s fighting a smile, but she loses the battle. “Duly noted.”
She doesn’t even bother to joke that she wouldn’t have let that happen.
She would have. We both know it.
She lets my hand go to reach for a brownie of her own.
“So April does plan to move out?” I ask. “You said she’s thinking about a pet when they move out.”
She chews her bite of brownie, swallows, and nods, “Yes. Of course.”
“How long have they talked about her staying with Mandy and Will?”
It better be until several months after the divorce from Christopher is finalized. I don’t want them out on their own during any legal battles and the emotional toll that could take. I don’t want April to waver for one damned second. I do think that Mandy and Will can help her stay strong through it all, though.
Ruby seems to read what I’m thinking.
“It will be a while. For sure until the divorce is final, there’s a solid custody plan in place and it’s been working for a while,” she assures me. “And, if Mandy and Will have their way, until Elliot graduates from high school.”
I give a short laugh. “Really?”
Ruby shrugs. “Maybe not that. But they won’t be in a hurry for them to leave. They don’t love being empty-nesters. They’ll be good for April and Elliot. And vice versa.”
I watch her closely as I ask, “So you’re not worried about them at all?”
She takes a breath and then shakes her head. “No. I mean, yes. Kind of. But every time I think I should be, or something occurs to me to worry about, something happens, and I realize they’re okay.” She pauses, then says, “They might need help, but they don’t needme.” She gives me a small smile. “And that feels a little weird, and I don’t like it, but it’s true. Even at the grocery store…”
I don’t like the way she trails off. I lean in. “What happened?”
“We just ran into some women who were giving April a hard time about leaving Christopher. Defending him. And…she handled it. She was fine. Then, before I could say a word, someone else was there, sticking up for her and putting them in their place.” Ruby lifts a shoulder. “She didn’t need me at all.”
I’m quiet for a moment. I know exactly what she’s feeling. I’ve felt it myself. “And you were so damned proud of her and happy for her because you truly want her to be happy and confident and independent.” I pause. “And you were also a littlerelieved because you don’t have to worry as much.” I take a breath. “But at the same time, you felt a little sense of loss because that’s your job, and if she doesn’t need that, then does she really need you at all?”
She stares at me. Then nods slowly. “Yeah. All of that.”
“That’s how I feel every time I watch Cian and Scarlett together,” I admit. “That pride and happiness and relief and sense of loss were so fucking strong when I watched them say their vows.”
I don’t feel bad confessing that to Ruby. No one else in the world would understand all of that. I would never tell all of that to anyone else. I know it makes me sound like an asshole to not be fully happy for my best friend on his wedding day.
But Ruby nods again. “Yeah. All of that, too.”
“I felt kind of unnecessary all day today,” I say.
“Same.” She smiles. “At least you brought the cinnamon rolls.”
I chuckle. “I also got a really challenging part of the jigsaw puzzle put together.”
“Right.” She sighs. “I didn’t do much at all.”
I lean in, my elbow on the breakfast bar beside her. “You know that’s not true. Even if you didn’t do anything directly in the moment, you are a huge reason for everything today. For that place and that group of people even being there. For it being a place April feels comfortable and safe. April had the courage to leave last night because she knew she had a place to go. Your house, then Dick’s today.”
Still, Ruby shrugs. “I like being needed all the time.”