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At least there I would be able to focus on my next steps, my new chapter, the exciting things I have ahead of me.
But all of that comes with a bunch of complicated emotions, too. Leaving my sister and Mariah. Starting over somewhere alone for the first time ever. And leaving Henry.
Now, instead of feeling lighter, I’m ashamed by the sense of hurt and disappointment I feel that I am hearing about how great Scarlett’s trip to Portland turned out from the podcast rather than from my sister or niece.
They’ve been busy. I’m sure Scarlett was nervous. She’s so passionate about this project, but the last time she was a big public speaker, up in front of audiences, trying to sell them on ideas, it was for our father’s church. I know that has left a bad taste in her mouth, and she has avoided the spotlight and public speaking for years.
But she didn’t even call me for a pep talk. Or text me,tell me I’m going to be fine.
She didn’t reach out to me before or after.
The event has been over for at least three hours now.
I’m glad it went well.Of course,I am. She needs to be good at this. The foundation means a lot to her, and it will do amazing work. She has to get out there and talk about it and not have flashbacks to her days of preaching and evangelizing.
But I did kind of think she might need ayou can do thisfrom me the first couple of times.
Still, this isgood. I know that. This is her new life. Not only is she the wife of royalty, but she’s married to a guy who is natural as a public figure and who has now seemingly embraced the factthat he can do a lot of good if he decides to be Prince Cian rather than just some random unimportant guy the way he has for the past decade or so hiding out in the United States.
But, clearly, besides being her biggest cheerleader—and I may have lost that designation to Cian as well—I’m not the one to help my sister navigate this next chapter of her life.
She’s doing just fine without me.
I go to the show’s website and start scrolling through the photos they referenced.
There are more than I expected. Jonah and Linnea look incredibly happy. Alex Olsen isveryhandsome. Declan and Astrid make an amazingly beautiful couple.
But it’s the photos of Cian and Scarlett and Scarlett and Mariah that I linger over.
My sister looks gorgeous.
And it’s not her hair or her makeup or what she’s wearing. It’s her smile.
My heart aches a little in my chest, but I feel my own smile as I study her face.
I don’t remember the last time I saw Scarlett smile like that.
It was probably something to do with Mariah. Watching her up on stage at a school program or listening to her give an impassioned monologue about something important to her. She does that a lot.
My sister only looks like this when it has something to do with the love of her life.
That has always been Mariah.
Until now.
Now she has added something else. Orsomeoneelse.
My sister is completely, blissfully in love and happy.
And I am hit with a crazy mix of emotions.
The first is, and always will be, an equal measure of happiness.
This is what I always wanted for Scarlett. That look of contentment and happiness and the ability to laugh and relax and know that things are going to be okay.
I feel tears sting the backs of my eyes and blink rapidly.
Thank you, Cian.