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I believe Tomas loves me but doesn’t want to be the cause of me renouncing my life. If I find a way to end my betrothal without destroying everything, I think he’ll want to be with me. However, even if he isn’t an option, finding a way out of my betrothal contract is a must. Tomas’ position is irrelevant.

It seems like such a long time ago that I found the betrothal agreements. Mother’s was swept from my thoughts by a torrent of other surprises and problems. I find both at the bottom of my wardrobe and unroll Mother’s first. The Betrothal of Princess Elea Millicent Exos of Alchos to Prince Kirnon Lawlor of Penum. Perhaps I can find the way she got out of it.

My head spins. The garrulous document doesn’t state anything in a remotely forthcoming way. It’s all formalities and meaningless rules, but I need to understand what happened with the people involved. Part of me doesn’t want to speak to Mother about it. Her keeping it from us stabs at me. I’d ask Father, but what if she didn’t tell him either? No, they don’t have secrets from each other. Furthermore, it would have been known at the time. I wonder how much Grandmother knows about it.

The direct source will probably do me better. And if Mother got out of a betrothal, perhaps she’ll sympathize with my plight to end mine.

I dress and roam the palace in search of her. She’s not in her study, or the sitting room, or the throne room, or her rooms, or the parlor, or the gardens. On my way to ask if she’s taken a horse out, movement on the bridge catches my eye. Mother is returning to the palace from the cave, skirts billowing behind her ethereally. I redirect back inside.

Her footfalls sound down the stairway of the west tower, and I wait at the bottom to meet her. “Mother, I need to speak with you.”

“What is it?” Her words come out like a sigh, weariness aging her eyes and pale face. We have been taking a toll on her, haven’t we?

“Somewhere private, if you please.”

She nods and leads me to her rooms. On the way, we pass a maid, and Mother orders tea. In her sitting room, she gestures to an armchair for me and reclines on the chaise. “What do you have tucked to your side like that?”

“This is what I need to speak to you about.” I place the rolled parchment on the table between us. “My betrothal agreement.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “Did you steal that from my study? You could have asked to see it.”

“I suppose I could have, but then I wouldn’t have known about this one.” I unroll it to show that two documents are rolled together. One is hers.

Her warm brown eyes lock onto it, and her entire countenance stiffens. Out of the corner of my eye, I think I see a plant retreat back toward its pot.

“Why didn’t you ever tell any of us?” I ask.

“I thought this was about your betrothal.” Her voice rasps in a low way I haven’t heard from her before.

A knock on the door precedes a maid’s entrance. Mother snatches the document and rolls it up as tea is set out. An uncomfortable silence fogs the room until we are alone again.

“I assume Father knows?”

“Of course your father knows. Don’t be ridiculous.” She looks at the tea and frowns. If she’s wishing the tea were something stronger, then we are of the same mindset. Rather than taking her cup, she wraps her hands around each other, holding her wrists in her lap. “The fallout with Penum over it was… catastrophic, as you may have guessed by our current relations.”

“But hadn’t you chosen to marry Kirnon?”

“Not exactly.” She sighs. “It had been the arrangement made by our parents, and I wasn’t terribly opposed to it, though I wasn’t excited about it either.” That sounds familiar. “But when…” Her gaze goes distant before she squeezes her eyes closed and clears her throat. “When I came into my full power, I became queen, and even before being crowned as such, I declared I would not marry Kirnon. My father was furious, but he no longer had any control over the matter. Your father and I married immediately, and I made it law that the heir to the throne could not have his or her marriage arranged in any part but by their own choice.”

“I didn’t realize that was a new rule.” Perhaps this is part of why Lord Altman said we are another generation of surprising royals.

“Yes, kings and queens already have so much of our lives decided for us. I couldn’t let the seat of consort be another obligation. The entire ordeal is a painful memory I don’t care to recount, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell your brothers and sister.”

I’ve gotten good enough at keeping secrets, and maybe doing her this favor can leverage my request. “Fine. Tell me how you got out of that betrothal, though.” I can’t believe I’m about to voice this to my mother. I’ve never blatantly gone against her wishes like this. “I need to dissolve mine.”

Her chin jerks back. “What? Why?”

If there is a way out without disclosing the situation with Tomas, I’d prefer to do that. Maybe it doesn’t help the issue of my hiding so much from her all this time to keep hiding it, however, that would redirect the conversation to Tomas and me which is still uncertain. The first thing I need us to focus on is my betrothal.

“Mother, to marry Jamys would doom me to a life of unhappiness. I’ve never asked for anything like this, so please know it’s of dire importance to me.”

“Did something happen with Jamys? Did he hurt you when you were away?”

“No. No, of course not. Jamys is wonderful.”

Her shoulders relax slightly. “Good. Your safety is of the utmost importance. If it were in question, the contract would be void.”

“It would?”