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“Not at all. We’re delighted to do it.”

After some preparations, we take the babies on a little outing.

I thought I invented the idea, but the sea breeze does indeed seem to soothe the little ones. I breathe in the salty air, Dollin rising and falling against my chest. Well, who wouldn’t be soothed by such a thing?

“If you wanted to act out your fantasy future with Jamys,” Nina says, “you could have found a way that didn’t involve all of us.”

I glance over to where Cara corrects the way Jamys holds Tessa as waves lap up on the dark sand and my bare feet. Even if it wasn’t my purpose, is Nina right about what I’m doing?

“It was to give that poor woman a break.” The glimpse of my future husband as he might be with our child is either an added benefit or a curse, I can’t tell yet.

Nina purses her lips. “If you say so.”

Marcus glances back and forth between Jamys and me with a confounded look. Is family life really so confusing to him? It’s coming for all of us soon enough, and it could be just this lovely.

Over the course of the few days allotted to us, I stop in at Tosha’s as often as possible, letting her bathe, eat, and sleep in peace. Jamys comes along with me, and I wouldn’t have ever thought having regurgitated milk wiped off me would be endearing, but laughing at our state together while he does it warms me.

As we go back to the castle for our last night here, he turns to me. “Are you happy to be going home tomorrow?”

“Yes, though I hope Tosha lets others help her. And it was nice being away. Being in different places allowed us to… live in different circumstances. Don’t you think?” Perhaps that sounds horrible, that I need to remove myself from my real life to feel a connection with Jamys.

He nods, though. “Being back at Mirador will come with different expectations. I understand that. Do you think… Have we made things too serious between us? Being around infants and all that? I don’t mean to—”

My laughter cuts him off. “Jamys, our marriage is already planned. We’ve known for some time that would be our future. How much more serious can we be than that?”

“I just don’t want you to think I expect us to jump into that part of our life so quickly. I know it’s expected of us, but it’s for us to decide when.”

Quite the opposite of his intention to make me feel more relaxed, this assertion is so sweet it makes me feel as though I’m careening toward something very serious indeed. “Oh, do you not think I’m ready to be a mother?” Of course, I deflect it with sarcasm.

“No, you looked…” His throat bobs. “It was wonderful to see you like that. Many in high stations hand over their young as soon as they’re born to nannies and the sort. My mother didn’t take to that method. She was more involved than perhaps was appropriate, but I like to think Lillian and I benefited from it. It appears you might have similar ideals regarding mothering.”

Deflection failed. Instead of lightening the conversation, I maneuvered it to confirm the warm feelings he got seeing me with babies. This should be a good thing—I had the same feelings. I want us to fall in love with each other, but every sign of that happening terrifies me.

Chapter twenty-five

Mirador comes into view, and I realize how much I missed it. The graceful slopes, the way it blends into its natural surroundings—all easier to appreciate when I haven’t seen it in weeks. My focus pulls to the cave connected to the palace’s left side by the bridge. For some reason, I feel I’ve missed that in particular.

We all speed our horses up in anticipation. My bouncing isn’t only due to the trot—it’s me. “Will anyone hate me if I go ahead?”

Nina rolls her eyes. “No more than we already do.”

I blow her a kiss. “Jamys? Do you mind?”

“Go ahead.” He takes my reins, and I jump up to stand on the saddle before lifting myself into the air.

Is it being home that makes me feel lighter? Or has enough time passed since the incident with the false investigators? Either way, my power feels like a natural, happy part of me again after my brief stint of avoiding it. Flying over the grand promenade refreshes me. My home beckons me toward it—a safe haven where the worst of my mistakes never involved death or destruction.

Mother, Father, and Josslyn step out of the front doors, and my heart soars higher than my body. I hadn’t realized how much I missed them until now. So much has happened since I last saw them, and I can’t decide if I want to fall back into life as if none if it ever happened, or if I’m eager to catch them up.

My feet touch down in front of the palace, and Josslyn practically pushes my parents out of the way to embrace me. A restless part of my soul settles now that I’m reunited with her. Father is the next one to greet me, followed by Mother.

She holds me out at arm’s length and smooths my hair. “How far back did you abandon everyone?”

“Practically at the gates. They’ll be here momentarily.”

“Tomas told us about what happened at Lambridge.” Father squeezes my hand. “Are you all right?”

“Yes.” A deep breath almost convinces me that’s true. “The fire was awful, and we all feel wretched about it. The run-in with the imposters posing as royal investigators was startling but not particularly difficult to handle.” No need to delve into how the ease with which I fell into that dangerously protective stance made me feel about myself. Regardless, it’s unfair for that event to distract from the other problems in Lambridge.