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“You wanted to protect yourself,” she corrected, and dropped her hand. She looked wan suddenly, as if the direction the conversation had gone had taken every last bit of energy from her. “I wasted years of my life with a man who hid so much from me, Desmond. I can’t repeat that—Iwon’t—no matter how well-intentioned it is.”
They stood in silence for a long moment, her words echoing in his head.
You’ve told me everything about yourself except what’s in here.
She was right, wasn’t she? He’d given her everything but what had mattered the most. And he’d hurt her in the process.
He raked a hand over his head, disturbing the curls that had gotten much longer in the days they’d been apart. “Will you sit with me for a while? Please, Valentina.”
* * *
Valentina was sure he could hear her heart thudding in her chest because it was echoing so loudly in her own ears. Desmond sat across from her, looking wearier than she’d ever seen him, but there was something in his expression that was new.
He’s softer.
He smiled at her a little. “Is this the place with the lobster pot pies?”
The corners of her mouth tugged upward. “You remembered.”
“I remember everything you’ve ever told me.” A waiter materialized out of the shadows, seeing a break in the intensity of the conversation, and Valentina ordered two of the pies. Desmond added a bottle of white wine.
When she frowned at the extravagance he smiled and said, “I’ve missed that look.”
“I’m sure you have.”
It was surely too late to pretend that she didn’t want him, that her heart didn’t ache for him, and he wouldn’t have flown all the way over here unless he feltsomethingfor her, too. The way he looked at her, as if she were something to treasure… The near-reverent way he touched her, even on that first heated night when they were strangers…
Desmond’s fingers crept across the table as if to brush hers, but stopped short.
“Everything you’ve said is true,” he said.
She let out the breath she’d been holding.
“I am too proud,” he added. “I didn’t give you a say. I’m sorry, Valentina. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, or to remind you of Malik. I should have talked to you and given you a choice so you could decide what you wanted for yourself.”
She closed her eyes briefly. She was tired of thinking about Malik. He was in the past, and she only wanted to think about Desmond now.
“Valentina, I love you.”
He said it so simply and without fanfare that at first she wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. Her eyes flew open. His face was sober, but the intensity in his dark eyes stole her breath away.
“Desmond…”
“Do you really think it’s so impossible?” He shook his head. “Wefit, Valentina. I don’t know if you feel the same, but I know I love you. I’m also a messed-up man from a messed-up family situation and I never want you to regret me. But you’re right. I don’t get to decide that. And I’m sorry.”
He loved her He loved her, and he’dcomefor her.
“Valentina?”
There was a lump in her throat so large it hurt. “I’m just…processing.”
They were interrupted by the arrival of a fragrant basket of bread with parsley-studded honey butter, and wine so cold the condensation slid down the side of the glass. The server decanted for both of them, then left.
Desmond picked up one of the heavy ceramic plates and scooped out a large spoonful. It was just as Valentina remembered—golden-brown pastry, rich, creamy gravy, and tender bites of sweet lobster. Her stomach growled in anticipation, but she couldn’t put a bite in her mouth. Not yet.
“Desmond?” she said, and her voice came out so quiet she wasn’t sure he’d hear, but she was powerless to do more in that moment.
“Yes?”