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Pressing a hand to my chest, as if that ever worked to help slow it down, I plopped down on the floor behind my closed door. I didn’t want anyone to see me at my desk like this. Flushed. Anxious.

I should have gone to the sensory room.

But I was here, so it would have to do.

I didn’t think I could make it to my desk to get my earbuds, so I slid my phone out of my skirt pocket and quietly turned on my soothing playlist. String instruments accompanied soft piano keys, and I set my timer.

I would freak out over kissing Leo Turner for fifteen minutes.

And not a minute more.

ChapterNine

LEO

She had dozedoff on me.

I wasn’t too surprised, because she and I had been through quite a bit the last few hours. So I used the arm I had wrapped around her back and shoulders to pull her closer to me. She adjusted, her hot breath fanning over my naked chest, and stayed asleep.

Turning my head just enough to glance at the ancient digital clock, I saw that it was 12:53 am.

Being the selfish bastard I was, I didn’t wake Jacqueline up. I indulged myself, allowing my nervous system to soak up the skin-to-skin contact I still desperately craved from her.

* * *

I could still taste Jacqueline.

I felt like I had gone mad. I had to apply chapstick throughout the day because I was licking my lips too often. Desperate to remember the feel of her mouth on mine. My hands couldn’t hold still. Zaid and Brandon had both stopped by my office for random questions after lunch and while I couldn’t quite recall the details of our conversations, I could remember the curious glances they gave my restless hands.

I had to stop myself from tapping a pencil against my leg multiple times.

Did Jacqueline regret our kiss that badly?

She wanted to at some point, otherwise she wouldn’t have done it.

I told myself later that night that she probably wasn’t in the proper state of mind. Perhaps she was just confused after I had clocked that prick in the bar, whoever he was. I had to push down the anger I felt when I remembered how he spoke to her. How comfortable he felt speaking like that to her.

I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, kissing her back with more than enough enthusiasm to let her know that yes, I too had been thinking about kissing her again since my interview.

But no.

I was immediately humbled.

So that night I poured myself two fingers of scotch and wallowed in self-pity.

A poor attempt to soothe my fragile ego over the fact that the one woman who had been taking up space in my mind for months still wasn’t thinking about me like that.

And I would go to work the next day and pretend like that car park kiss never happened.

* * *

I couldn’t believethat I was dealing with this so fucking early in the morning, the Monday after the kiss. Jacqueline and I hadn’t talked much, because the morning after, she texted me saying her car was fixed again and she didn’t need a ride.

It was probably true; her car was due to be fixed any day.

But I still worried that she was avoiding me on purpose.

As she had every right to.