Page 80 of Lucifer's Mirror

“I’m not fucking afraid,” he snarls, and I grin. He gives a small shrug. “Okay, maybe I am, but shit, Amber, I’ve got a monster inside me. A fucking big one. What if Khaosti was right the other night? What if I manage to shift… and then I kill everyone around me?”

“Khaosti’s a tough guy. He can look after himself.”

“Maybe. He also says I’m in denial. That I’m trying to pretend to myself that it’s not happening.” He looks at me. His eyes suddenly grow hard. “Did you know? I mean before we left that this was going to happen?”

“No. At least—”

“You fucking knew, and you didn’t tell me?”

“They told me that there was a good chance there would be side effects from when that thing bit you. But I didn’t know what and they wouldn’t tell me, just that you wouldn’t turn into one of those things. I was seriously scared that’s what they meant.”

“Yeah, because this is so much better.” He sounds bitter.

“Itisbetter.” I have a flashback to Khaosti’s wolf when he rushed in and saved us that night. He was beautiful. And Thanouq’s griffin is amazing. I say as much. “It’s actually sort of cool. Really cool.”

He shrugs. “Yeah, but then, that’s them. Apparently, I’m a basilisk.”

I think hard. I’m sure I’ve read about basilisks. “The king of the serpents?” I ask.

“I wish. Apparently, that’s just in stories. According to Khaosti, a basilisk is a cross between a cockerel and a snake. I mean, how the fuck does that even happen?” I snigger, and he glares. “So yeah, I’m afraid. Afraid I’m going to look like some deviant chicken.”

A giggle escapes me, and he glares some more. “Hey, maybe you’ll be able to lay eggs. That might come in useful.”

“Piss off.” But some of his tension eases.

“What else has Khaosti told you?” I ask. Clearly, he talks to Zayne more than he does to me.

“Apparently, those shadowguard things could once shift like Khaosti can, but into different animals. And if they bite someone, that person can catch it like a disease. But only if you already have some Astrali—that’s Khaosti’s lot—blood to start with.”

“So you have some of this blood?”

“Khaosti said his people have been visiting Earth for centuries. Shagging away like rabbits. There are quite a few people with Astrali blood to varying degrees.”

“And if you didn’t have this blood, then nothing would have happened?”

“No, if I didn’t have the blood, I’d be dead. A bite from the shadowguard is fatal to pure humans.”

Which means, if I’d been bitten, I’d be dead. Then something occurs to me, and I’m amazed it hasn’t occurred to me before. MaybeI’mnot human. Nah. Of course I am. I look human, don’t I? Then again, so does Khaosti. And Hecate. I’m pretty sure she’s not human either. I push the thought to the back of my mind. Likely when I recover my memory, I’ll know. I doubt anyone is going to tell me beforehand.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “This is because of me.”

“Totally. You owe me big time.”

“So what happens next?” I ask.

“We keep trying. We have another session tonight. I’msoooclose, or so Khaosti says.”

I peer at him warily, like he might turn into a great big chicken and peck me to death. He smirks like he knows what I’m thinking. “Remember,” I say. “I do have a sword, and apparently, I know how to use it.” We sit in silence for a few minutes. “Hey, can I come tonight? Give you some moral support?”

“Hell, no. I don’t mind slaughtering Khaosti in a mindless rage. But I’d feel pretty guilty if I did it to you.” He grins, and I get a glimpse of the Zayne I know and love. “You can come once I’ve got the hang of it.”

“I’d like that.” Maybe.

“Khaosti says I can’t go home until he’s sure I’m in control. And then there are all these rules about not letting people know and not shifting when I might be seen and…” He shakes his head. “I hate fucking rules.”

I latch onto his first comment. “Do you want to go home?” I’d sort of thought that he’d stay with me until… Until what? The truth is I just don’t know. Before I forgot everything, I was being trained to fight. But fight who or what? I can’t expect Zayne to be part of that. As he said, he’s got a life. And I’ve already messed it up enough.

“I’m worried about Josh. He won’t know what’s happened to us.”