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But it still felt like we had this chasm between us. I wanted to make a move, but the timing always felt off. I didn’t want to come across as insincere, so I tried to spend time with him, but he gave me space.

Too much freaking space.

And when he didn’t give me space, he was sending me out to get my nails done or to get a massage.

It was like he was trying to get rid of me by way of overflowing gifts. I wasn’t’ complaining, I really wasn’t. I loved it, but I would take pizza on the couch any night, because it was with him.

The doorbell rang. “Shit!”

“We told them to knock!” Ace hissed.

I scrambled toward the door and nearly tripped on my own feet and jerked open the door just as the doorbell went off again, followed by crying.

The delivery guy took a picture of the pizza. “Oh hey, here’s your pizza. Have a good night.”

I almost chased him to his car.

Instead, hunger won out. I grabbed the pizza off the chair next to the door and went back inside the house while Ace came out with Lily on his chest. “She already went back to sleep but I’m going to hold her a bit.”

“Right.” I put the pizza on the counter, grabbed us each a slice, and went over to the couch.

His hands were busy holding our daughter.

Mine were busy holding pizza, so I didn’t reach for him. The frustration lingered, the words left unsaid, the mistrust, the stress and the lack of sleep helped nothing.

I lifted my slice of pizza up and held it to his mouth. He stared down at it then back up at me. “You eat.”

“Take a bite before I change my mind, my stomach already ate itself and is working on the intestinal wall lining.”

“That’s physically impossible, if your body was eating itself it would most likely break down major organs first, but normally the brain shuts down, making it impossible to send signals to—” He grinned and opened his mouth.

I pulled the pizza away. “You were saying?”

“I was saying, normally the brain breaks down first making it impossible to send signals to your organs, but not your brain, never, yours is too massive.”

“Good answer.”

“Can I have a bite now?”

Throat dry, I tried not to shake as I lifted the slice of pepperoni pizza to his lips. He took a huge bite and closed his mouth to chew. A soft moan escaped. “So good. I’m starving.”

I licked my lips. “Y-yeah, me too.”

I fed him the rest of his slice then ate mine. I was asleep in minutes and woke up to a blanket laying over me and Lily fast asleep in her crib.

When I went to bed he was there, shirtless, sleeping, his hair a wreck and his body half on the bed.

It wasn’t fair.

I needed to talk with him, even if it meant I ended up with a broken heart in the process. I would deserve it anyway. In a few hours, after class, I’d tell him everything.

And just pray he responded.

26

ACE

“Thank God for the nanny.” I ran a hand through my hair and yawned into the phone. “Seriously, Ivan, sometimes, I want to hug her and let it out all out.”