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When walking by me he put his podcast on again or I’m assuming he did because he said that’s what he did and he was a creature of stupid habit.

He pulled out a chair. “You should sit, eat something then take a nap.”

I could quote him back to himself.

Normally, I’d argue for a bit then listen.

But today…today it was raining. Today felt wrong, different. Today for the first time in a long time I really missed Louis, his distractions, his jokes, his way of making me feel important.

I missed him so badly.

At least he’d know I was upset, he’d read the room, not completely ignore me or pretend I didn’t exist.

I stared down at the yogurt, tears in my eyes, and chucked it at his head.

It hit him and dropped to the floor.

Chest heaving, I reached for the protein bar and held it high.

Ace pulled out his stupid AirPods. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Me?” I yelled. “ME?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Yes. You, the only other person in this room!”

“You’re not even real! You’re just going through the motions!”

Ace looked around the room. “I’m not real? Like I’m not human? Have you lost your mind? I’m being dead serious, is there something wrong?”

“Yeah!” I waved the protein bar. “I’m like one of those girls who snapped, where she just loses it and buries her husband in the backyard!”

“Technically, you’d have to bury me in your dad’s yard on account of ours couldn’t handle the amount of cement you’d need to seal the grave,” he pointed out. Annoyingly.

“I know that!” I didn’t. “And what if I want to use pigs?”

“We have those now.” He nodded. “But the guys would know.”

“They’d be on my side!” I screamed. “Because you’re the crazy one!”

“Me?” He burst out laughing. “I’ve done everything right! I’m more real than you are living in your little fantasy world of romantic comedies and refusing to deal with Louis’ death by just pretending it never fucking happened!”

“Take it back!” I threw the protein bar.

“No,” he spat. “Because you’re the delusional one. I’m trying the fucking best I can, Raven! What more do you want from me!”

“Everything!”

“You have it!” He reached for the last protein bar then tossed it on the floor. “I’m here, constantly. I’m here. I’m the one that’s here!”

“You’re not even a real husband!”

“It sure as hell feels like it when I’m doing your laundry, Raven!” He shoved all the food off the table. “And you know I’m going to clean that shit up later, and then I’m going to make sure you’re safe, make sure the baby is safe, I’m going to take care of everything. What more could you possibly want from me?” His chest was heaving, his eyes searching for me to say something that would make this better.

Instead, I said the worst thing I could have possibly said. “Louis. I want Louis.”

He stumbled back like I’d shot him.

His phone dropped to the ground.