Page 80 of Let You Love Me

“Tell me about your friends,” I say through the vise grip on my chest. “You said you’re really close to some of your old teammates from your hometown, right?”

“Yeah. Jace, Atlas, and Graham. Atlas is the newest of our group, but we’re more like brothers than anything. Over the summer, I lost a friend, though. Knox Brian.” He shakes his head. “Turned out he betrayed us all, really pulled the wool over our eyes and he wasn’t the man I thought he was. I’ve had kind of a hard time opening up to some of the guys at CU because of it, and don’t get me started on secrets and lies and . . .” He trails off, and his throat bobs. I can tell whatever he’s referring to cuts deep. “Well, I guess you could say lying is a hard no for me.”

I remember the day he chased me down on campus. He mentioned then he couldn’t handle liars. Looks like he was serious.

“I think I mentioned that Jace is dating my sister?” he says, tearing me from my thoughts.

“What’s that like?”

“Fucking weird.”

I bark out a laugh.

“Seriously. I mean, it took some getting used to the idea, especially because in high school my best friend was known to be a player. But somehow, he’s just what she needs, and she’s everything to him.”

“I couldn’t imagine being away from my family. Do you miss them?”

“Yeah, but we talk a lot, and we’ll get together when we can. I guess distance is all a part of growing up and getting older.”

“All your friends play college football?”

“Well, we all used to. Graham sort of . . . burned out. His father was kind of brutal and really put him through the ringer. It just wasn’t in his heart anymore. Only Atlas and Jace still play. Both for Big Ten schools, too. We already played Jace at AU this year and somehow lost. We’re slated to play Atlas at OSU—”

“At the end of the season,” I finish for him. “Yeah, I know.”

Grinning, he lifts his chin. “Look at you memorizing the schedule.” When I laugh, he adds, “Atlas is already talking shit about bringing us down a peg, since we’re vying for their spot.”

“I can’t imagine what that would be like, playingagainstthem when you’re used to playingwiththem.”

“It’s weird, for sure. As athletes, we’re all a little cocky, so you think you’re the best and want to kick their ass, but you’re also proud as hell when they excel on the field. I have no doubt Atlas will get drafted, and Jace has a pretty damn good chance, too.”

“And you?” My heart clenches. I have no claim to him. We’ve only known each other a short time, yet the thought of him leaving after his four years are up saddens me in a way it shouldn’t. It’s a good reminder to keep my walls up. No matter how good of a friend he becomes, Teagan’s future in football will likely dictate his life.

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thought about it. I think anybody who loves a sport enough to essentially dedicate eight years of their life to it between high school and college has thought about it. You’d be crazy not to imagine what it would be like, to dream of being drafted. But at the end of the day, it just comes down to two things.”

“Which are?”

“Talent and drive. Are you good enough, and how bad do you want it?”

I already know he’s talented or my father wouldn’t have him on the starting lineup. I want to ask him how bad he wants it, butthe words don’t come. They stick in my throat, heavy and leaden on the tip of my tongue.

Instead, I glance back out to the water. Maybe I don’t want to know the answer. All I’ve done the last four years is look ahead to the future. It’s what I had to do to ensure I could provide for Sophie and give her the life she deserves.

But I’m tired.

For once, I want to just be Lane Turner, a twenty-one-year-old college student with no inhibitions. I want to be free and maybe a little bit reckless. I want to experience the kind of things I missed out on during the last four years because I had to grow up so quickly.

A breeze ripples the dark surface of the lake, and I wonder how cold it is. How the water would feel against my bare skin.

“Have you ever gone skinny dipping?” I blurt.

I can feel his eyes on the side of my face, heating my skin, and I have to bite my lower lip to keep the blush from rising to my cheeks.

“Yes,” he answers.

Of course he has.

“I haven’t. I haven’t done a lot of things.” Except sex. I’ve done that. I had sex twice, and here I am—the product of that choice is sleeping peacefully in her bed inside the sliding glass doors.