Page 152 of Let You Love Me
I inhale a shaky breath and pause in front of the doors to The Buzzy Bean.
A patron leaves, sending the nutty scent of coffee wafting toward me while I fight for the courage to step inside those doors.
I’d planned on seeking Teagan out today and apologizing. But he beat me to the punchline with a text already waiting for me when I woke, asking if we could meet for a coffee before conditioning—alone.
My stomach sinks as I wonder for the hundredth time in the past hour if this is it, the moment he finally crushes my heart beneath his palm. It’s the moment I’ve feared since the day I met him, because I knew, even then, he had the capability to make me fall. And with that comes the power to unravel me completely.
I shake out my hands, then take a deep breath; I can’t stall any longer.
If he’s going to dump me, I’m just delaying the inevitable, and it doesn’t matter whether it happens now or an hour from now, it’ll hurt all the same.
My feet carry me inside the coffee shop, but the usual buzz I get simply from the smell of the coffee and pastries is absent. Instead, I search for him with what feels like a water buffalo sitting on my chest. And when I spot him at a small table by the window, my heart kick starts, a revving engine rumbling to life, before I remember why I’m here and that I have no idea what he wants to say.
I take a step toward him, and the movement draws his attention. His head lifts, and our eyes lock.
I’ll tell him the truth.
He’ll understand.
I can trust him; I know I can.
And he’ll forgive me for not telling him sooner.
But even as I come to stand at the foot of the table and he rises from his seat to greet me, I can’t help the little niggling feeling of doubt in the back of my mind. The one that reminds me he and Chance are teammates and my father is their coach. Athletes are passionate, and football is a harsh game where emotions on thefield can make or break you. What if he gets pissed off and says something to Chance in the heat of the moment, or God forbid, to my father? What if, in a moment of desperation, he tells a teammate who Sophie’s father is, and it gets back to my father?
I’ve sacrificed for years to keep this a secret so as not to destroy my father’s dreams. Am I really willing to risk it now?
Shut up and stop overthinking. For once in your life, Lane, do something foryou.Preserve your relationship foryou.
I swallow and my muscles lock into place as I wait to see what Teagan will say upon seeing me. But when he steps forward and pulls me into his arms, I sag into him, relief loosening my limbs.
He kisses the top of my head, his strong arms holding me to him while my heart goes wild.
We stand there like that, wrapped up in each other for I don’t know how long before he pulls back, and I blurt, “I have some things I need to say.”
His jaw tightens, and I wonder if he’s every bit as anxious as I am as he motions to the table. “So do I. Why don’t we sit? I bought you a coffee,” her says sliding a paper cup toward me.
“Thank you.” I try to smile but I’m too nervous and it comes off more like a grimace.
If he notices, he says nothing as he pushes a couple creamers my way. Even though I’m not sure I can stomach anything right now, I doctor my cup anyway, needing something to do with my hands.
Teagan’s quiet as he watches me, his gaze steady on my face, and when I finish, I glance up at him, steeling myself for whatever’s about to happen.
“I’m sorry,” we say at the same time, and we laugh.
The band gripping my chest falls away completely when Teagan reaches out, taking my hand in his. “Can I go first?”
His eyes spark like blue flames and I nod as his hand encapsulates mine.
“I’m so sorry, Lane.” His tone is firm, steady, like him and the grip on my hand. “I never should’ve pushed you. From that very first day, when I convinced you to give me a chance, you told me the stakes. You flat-out told me to never ask about Sophie’s father, and I agreed. I accepted the terms because I wanted you so badly you could have asked me for anything, and I would’ve given it. But then I saw that picture and it just”?his jaw tightens?“it freaked me out. But I shouldn’t have pushed and demanded anything from you that you’re not willing to give. That’s not how love works. Love doesn’t demandanything. It gives.”
“Teagan, I—” A hand fists in my throat, choking my words.
“You don’t have to say anything. Not yet,” he says, and I hate myself for staying silent. “I’ve never been the insecure type, and I hate that’s how I came off. But you need to know that it’s only because you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and I want you for keeps.” His throat works with emotion and I want to reach out, to pull him into my arms and erase all his fears and make them mine, because lord knows, I have plenty for the both of us. “Fuck it, I’ll just say it. I was acting like a jealous idiot, but it won’t happen again.”
“Oh, Teagan.” My throat constricts. “You don’t owe me an apology because I get it. I understand. But I want you to know that you havenothingto worry, no reason to be jealous, because I feel exactly the same way you do. I want you for keeps, too.”
His lips quirk. “Good to know.” Then he grimaces. “But I was kind of a dick about it. You were right. You were upfront with me about it from the beginning.”
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