Page 78 of Let You Love Me

The thought sobers me; that first crush was Chance, and we all know how that ended.

With that in mind, I crack the twist top off the wine and pour both our glasses before holding mine out with a smile. “Fancy, I know.”

Teagan chuckles. “Trust me. It’s not my first rodeo. I’ve drank booze from my fair share of paper cups before.”

Right. I’m sure he’s gone to hundreds of parties between high school and college. Not everyone is stuck at home with a baby at seventeen.

I clutch my cup to my chest, like it can serve as a barrier between him and my heart as I guide us to the small sunroom off the kitchen that leads to a set of sliding doors.

I step outside, and the balmy evening air greets me. At seventy-five degrees and humid, it’s above average temperature for early October. The sky above us is clear and dark with only the moon and stars to light our path to the lake.

“I don’t have any furniture out here yet,” I say, glancing around me at the barren stone patio. “But do you want to sit by the dock?”

It’s a simple question, yet it somehow feels monstrous, like I’m putting myself out there.

“Absolutely.” He reaches out, and his long, warm fingers curl around my hand, shooting tingles up my spine as he pulls me down the grassy slope of the backyard to the lake below.

The soft grass beneath our feet turns to the craggy wood of the old dock. Our footsteps thud heavily over the weather hewn surface, joining the throaty bellows of bullfrogs and the chirring of crickets.

When he releases me so we can sit, I settle onto the edge of it and dangle my legs over the edge, staring out at the silvery reflection of the moon rippling over the glass-like surface of the lake.

“They’re so much brighter from down here,” he says.

I glance over at Teagan to see his head tipped up to the sky, so I do the same and hum in agreement, my mind drifting. I close my eyes for a brief moment, allowing the soft breeze to ruffle my hair like fingers softly combing through my locks.

The last few years might have been challenging, but they led me right here, to this moment, sitting beside a new friend at a house I intend to turn into my dream home. It may have been a long road, and it may not be over yet, but moments like this make the struggle worth it.

I take a sip of my wine and open my eyes once more, allowing the velvety feel of it to coat my tongue and loosen my words. “Thank you for everything tonight. For dinner. For playing with Sophie. Setting up her bed . . . just, everything.”

I see him shrug in my peripheral vision. “No big deal.”

But it is a big deal. He has no idea how those simple acts have left their mark, how they’ve burrowed a place in my heart.

“She’s amazing. You know that, right? I mean, other than my sisters, Sophie is seriously the coolest kid I’ve ever met, and so damn easy to be around.”

I glance over at him, to the strong set of his jaw, the soft slope of his nose, his serious expression, and I realize hemeansit. He’s not just blowing smoke or saying what I want to hear or being polite. He means every single word he says. Teagan is not the type to hear himself speak.

“Yeah, she’s pretty special,” I say. “I got lucky.”

He turns to me now, his dimples on full display. “There’s no luck about it, Lane. You made her that way. You’re the reason she’s so awesome. You know that, don’t you?”

Do I?

I swallow through the ache in my chest. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Say all the right things at all the right moments.” Things that pierce straight through my heart. It’s like somebody gave him a roadmap to my fucking heart.

God, I’m in so much trouble.

I know it. My heart knows it. My entire body knows it, which is probably why the palms of my hands are growing clammy by the second and my throat is as dry as the dessert despite another swallow of wine.

I hardly ever drink, and it’s been a while since I’ve had even one glass, which is probably why the pleasant buzzing inside my brain is already starting.

I reach out and grab the bottle, refilling my cup. With Sophie safe inside and the monitor clipped to my hip, I can afford to imbibe since I’m not going anywhere until later tomorrow. But Teagan’s another story.

He has a game tomorrow and if I’m smart, I’d ask him to leave, and then go to bed, or choose paint colors. Anything other than what I’m currently doing because he and I can go nowhere. I’m flying down a road I know is a dead-end. But I can’t seem to stop myself.