Page 9

Plus, history tells me that older men aren’t really an area I should be exploring.
“You’re being ridiculous. You’re amazing, caring for your mom. You just got a promotion with the best whiskey distillery in the country. You are an extreme professional. This strategy we worked on this morning is out of this world, and I can’t believe you already know all these media personalities and journalists. You’re so beautiful, I can hardly stand it, and every time I look at you, Iwant to puke because I need your long thick hair more than I need to breathe sometimes.”
“Oh, stop.” I pretend to scold her as I get up and move around my office. I feel fidgety or nervous, like I need to keep busy. It always happens to me when the topic is on me or something I have done. But I hear her words, and I know she is right. I’m smart, capable, and resilient. “He’s a widower. Probably still in love with his late wife. Besides, I went to sleep with him by my side, holding my hand, and when I woke up, he was gone. He saw me at my most vulnerable, then left. I’m kind of embarrassed. I was a mess. Shit, I still am a mess,” I say, feeling my cheeks heat and rubbing my temples. I can be honest with her, and while I don’t tell her everything, she knows more than most.
“Are you still having nightmares?” she asks quietly, and I stop. Swallowing, I look at her before I sit again.
“Yeah.” I sigh. “Are you?”
“Sometimes,” she says, and I nod in understanding. I know she does, but she has Tanner to curl up with, to soothe her night terrors. I just grip the cold sheets and try to breathe through the fear, feeling like a child who can’t get her shit together. Another reason Hudson can’t come close… I’m too damaged.
“Are they getting better?” I ask, feeling hopeful.
“Less and less, thank God,” she says with a small smile of encouragement.
“Good.” I’m looking forward to the day when mine start to ease.
“I think going back to Marie’s Place helps.” Lifting her eyebrows, she looks at me accusingly.
“I’ve been back. I drive past there every day to come to work,” I tell her, although she is right. I have only been back a few times, and each time, I feel better. Maybe I need to go back again. Walk around the new shed, have a coffee in the new kitchen. Just be still in my thoughts.
“Yes, but you know as well as I do that sometimes the best therapy is facing demons head-on. I go to Marie’s Place all the time. At first, it was hard, but now I refuse to let that woman take away the one place that I truly made mine. I put my heart and soul into that place; I’ll be damned if I’m not going to enjoy it now.” Hell, if Victoria can do it, I sure can.
“Fine. I will try and go some more.”
“Maybe have your next therapy session there. That helped me,” she offers, and I nod. I might take her up on that.
“Well, should we talk about the spa?” Sitting forward, she grabs her laptop, and I grin. We both can’t wait for the day when a health spa is installed here at the distillery.
It’s something the two of us will make very good use of.
6
HUDSON
With my phone stuck to my ear, I walk down the street, my smile wide as I watch my son skipping ahead of me.
“We just miss him all the time,” Melody says, her voice pitching. I smile as Bob from the hardware store passes by swiftly. I offer him a small wave, to which he responds with the standard male greeting of a head nod, walking around us, and heading inside the nearby diner.
“It’s only been a few weeks, Melody,” I tell her, knowing it won’t ease her melancholy. But we left the city merely weeks ago, and I’ve barely had time to get myself organized and Harvey in school and she is already calling. She has called me a few times, and each time, I’ve been unable to answer, busy with patients or Harvey. But today, as I walk down the main street of Whispers, I thought it would be a good time to answer.
“I know, I still can’t believe you’re gone. Especially so far away in Whispers.” She huffs. My in-laws generally haven’t poked their heads into mine and Harvey’sbusiness since Amanda died. But as soon as I told them we were moving, they weren’t pleased. But I know Melody loves him, so I do expect her to have an adjustment period. He is the closest thing she has left of her sister.
“Harvey loves it.” I come to a pause on the sidewalk, seeing him stop at the window of Tony’s Toy World, the small toy store we have in town. He peers inside, his eyes wide. When he was born, I missed so many firsts. His first step was seen by our nanny. His first tooth was also something she highlighted to me. I was so busy trying to save his mother and then pushing through when she died, and before I knew it, he was already an energetic toddler.
“I’m glad, I really am. I just miss him.” Melody sighs. She visited Whispers once, when I flew her and her sister out to see the ranch and the town. The two of them hated it. It was too quiet, too boring, too dirty, and the horses stunk. They grew up in the city, with money and prestige, and they had no appreciation for the small town at all, but I know the country lifestyle isn’t for everyone.
I should tell Harvey to come to the phone to speak with her, but I think he would prefer to keep wandering down the street, discovering all the new things. And the bit of distance he has from the city now is doing him good. Mom and Dad have been helping me out with him a lot, and it’s such a relief. The saying that it takes a village to raise a child is true, and while the nannies I had in the city were great, the fact that my parents get to dote on and look after him after school while I work is amazing for everyone.
“You know, I can see him outside near the horses, but I can’t get his attention. How about I call you next weekend.He can chat with you then,” I suggest, pretending we are at home on the ranch, instead of me watching my son laugh and smile in town, pointing to a toy he has found in the window display. Seeing him with so much glee on his face, I feel regret for waiting this long to move back. But coming back home here to Whispers, I now understand that this is exactly what we both needed.
“Ahhh, those smelly horses. Don't let him get too close,” she says with distaste, and I sigh. I look across the street and notice the old florist shop now empty, newspapers stuck in the windows, and I pause my stroll to look at it. I haven’t heard what is happening with it, but I’m not surprised it’s closed now. No one needs that reminder.
“Alright, speak later,” I say, and she says a quick goodbye before the call ends. As a doctor in the city, Melody is just as busy as I was, and I know she has a million other things to do.
“Hey, Dad, look at this!” Harvey yells, just as I reach where he is standing. He pokes his finger to the window. I peer inside and see a small kids’ paradise. Sure, I’ve taken him to toy stores before, but this quaint little store is so colorful and has so many old-school toys, even I want to go in. As I look to where he is pointing, I smile.
“A model airplane…” I murmur, wondering if he is a bit young for such a thing.