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“It was just a nightmare. People have them all the time. You’re safe. You don’t need to worry.”
I swallow, trying to moisten my dry throat as I nod. He cups my jaw, his thumb rubbing across my lips before he leans forward and kisses me.
“Hudson…” I whisper. My body calms from the nightmare, now focusing on him as his other hand trails across my body to my lower back and he pulls me toward him as he cuddles me in his embrace.
“This is real, Lacy. You and me. Just concentrate on us,” he murmurs against my lips as he soothes me.
I lie in the silent room as Hudson’s hand continues up and down my back. His heart thuds at my ear, where my head rests against his bare chest.
“It starts with the smell,” I tell him, wanting to open up.
“What do you smell?” he asks, and I close my eyes briefly before opening them again.
“Gasoline. Then I feel restrained.”
He kisses the top of my head, letting me talk.
“I then see Victoria and start to panic, trying to get to her. Trying to get out of the rope that holds me.” All the while, his hand continues along my back in a steady rhythm. Keeping me calm, keeping me centered.
“I usually wake up then, but it’s changed lately,” I say, lifting my head and looking at him. The bedroom is still a little dark, but I can see him, the concern etched into his brow.
“Changed how?” he asks as his hand brushes the hair from my face, watching me closely.
“I see you,” I tell him and he frowns so I continue.
“I see you at the end. I see you coming for me. Running toward me. Saving me.” I give him a small smile. “The nightmares are horrible, but since you have been back, they don’t come as often, and they aren’t as violent as they once were.” Feeling safe and calm in his embrace, it’s easy to be honest.
“Over time, they should dissipate even more,” he says, still watching me closely.
“I think they are. I think seeing you again, being with you, I think it all helps.” I swallow past a lump in my throat, coming to the realization just now myself.
“There is nowhere else I want to be than with you.”
I rest my chin on his chest and look up at him. His eyes are on me, the moonlight streaming in through the curtains, giving a soft glow to his face.
“I have fallen for you, Lacy Jones. Baby, I love you,” he says softly, and my heart feels like it is about to explode. The silence sits heavily between us as feelings of longing blanket me in warmth. “You don’t have to say it back…”
“I love you,” I rush out. “I love the way you remember the little things.” I press a soft kiss to his lips, cupping his cheek. “I love the way you didn’t take no for an answer when you asked me out.” I smile as I say the words. “I love the way you instill so much confidence and positivity into my life when I had very little to give in return. I wasn’t looking for anyone. I didn't need anyone. Then you came back. You came back to Whispers.”
“I’ve got you, Lacy. I always will,” he says with such sincerity, my eyes tear up as I lie back down. He holds me tight, and together we watch the sun come up on a new day, feeling grateful to have found each other.
But I’m not entirely at ease. His breathing is calm and regular, my body relaxed, but my mind is workingovertime. Hudson loves me, my life slowly feels like it is all coming together, yet as I look out the window, I know something is amiss. I can feel it. My life has never been perfect, and while I love Hudson and he loves me, perfect doesn’t happen to a girl like me.
40
HUDSON
I’m running around my place, trying to keep busy. If I don’t, I will blow a fuse.
“So this is all I need, then?” Lacy asks. Her mom is heading into Williamstown today for her transfusion, and Lacy’s nervous, I can tell. She’s fidgeting, her shoulders tight.
“Why won’t you let me go with you today? I promise I’m a great support person.”
“No. It’s fine. I know you’re busy. Besides, I’ll be fine. Mom will be fine.”
I feel like she says the words more for her own reassurance than mine. The gate intercom buzzes through the kitchen, and I look at the screen, seeing Connor’s truck and who looks to be Sawyer in the passenger side.
“Connor and Sawyer are here,” I tell her, Harvey’s head pops up from where it’s been buried in a book about planes his aunt sent him this week. Having a sister-in-law who owns Bloomers Books is a godsend when it comes to those kinds of gifts.