Page 18

“Not date. Anyone. It isn’t just you. I mean, you are…” I trail off as I wave my hand over his frame. “Well, you… and I am… busy,” I tell him and he continues to watch me, his smile small, almost like he’s trying to hold in laughter.
“So what if you had some time? Would you be open to a date then?”
I’m surprised about his perseverance. He isn’t pushy, isn’t violent. He’s a bit coy, flirtatious, funny.Yesis on the tip of my tongue. If my life was different, if I didn’t have to manage so much, then yes. That’s what I want to say.
“But I don’t,” I say quickly, really needing to pull myself together. “Have time, I mean.”
“I haven’t dated in a long time, Lacy, but I can wait.”
I think about his words. He is a widower, and I’m sure probably still madly in love with his late wife.
“Wait?” I ask, confused.
“Until you’re… not busy.” He smirks, and my eyebrow rises, a small smile toying at my lips.
“Unless you have some special magic potion that can free up my life…” I start to say, trying to figure out exactly what is happening and failing.
“Challenge accepted.” He grins wider now before he lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the top of my knuckles, and I almost gasp. His lips are soft, the feeling of them tender on my skin, the buzz trickling around my body. It’s almost as if time is standing still as I stare at him, and he stares at me.
“Hudson!”
We both startle at the sudden voice that breaks through our conversation. I take a deep breath and pull Hudson’s jacket tighter, shaking my head, trying to get my thoughts in order.
Hudson clears his throat and runs his hand through his hair.
“Coming!” he shouts, sounding frustrated, and I take the seconds to compose myself.Shit, Hudson Hamilton wants to date me.
“I need to go. I swear my brother always knows where to find me,” he says, smiling, starting to step away.
“Oh, your jacket.” I move to pull it from my shoulders.
“Keep it. Stay warm. I will grab it from you tomorrow. Good night, Lacy.” He gives me a wink before turning and walking back up the path, his strides long and strong.
“Good night,” I say quietly. As I watch him retreat, Iwonder for the briefest moment what it would be like to be kissed by a man like Hudson. Would it be soft, slow, hard, or fast? Then I remember who he is and who I am and start to feel deflated. My shoulders sink, and my heart feels heavy. We can be friends. Acquaintances. Maybe even share a sundae at Rochelle’s from time to time. But we can’t date. We can’t be anything. I don’t have time. I can’t go out and have a great time and leave Mom at home. What kind of daughter would do that? Leave their sick mother at home while she was getting wined and dined by a billionaire night after night.
I push my selfish feelings down and take a deep breath to lower my racing heart. As I stand in the peacefulness of the night, I look back up at the sky. I can’t see it yet, but I look at where the Heart Nebula is usually positioned—the small galaxy that is in the shape of a heart. I have only ever seen it a couple of times, but as my own heart pounds, I search harder, needing to see it. I finally spot it and release a heavy breath. It’s faint, but it’s there.
A little like my own heart, I suppose.
I smell smoke.Gasoline fumes burn my nostrils. I wriggle around and try to move but feel trapped.
Help!I yell, but my voice sounds muffled, the material around my mouth tight.
I see Jasmine. I see the shed. I see Hudson.Hudson.
“Hudson!” I jolt upright, panting. My room is dark, the house quiet, my labored breathing the only noise.
“Shit,” I say, scrubbing my face, my skin clammy. Mybedsheets are rumpled around my body. I look at my phone on the bedside table. Two a.m.
“Great,” I mumble before I lie back down, my body involuntarily shivering, my hands tightly gripping on to the sheets as I try to take deep breaths.One, two, three, four.My eyes look toward the small armchair in my room where Hudson's jacket is draped neatly. I hesitate, but my body is jittery, and there’s no way I’ll be able to rest. So I jump up and grab it, taking it back to bed with me. Draping it over my torso, I bring it up to my neck and take in a deep breath.
The slow intake of air helps my pounding pulse, my muscles to stop twitching, and the tension to ease from my body. I close my eyes and see him. I see Hudson. But not from that night anymore. From tonight. His smile wide, looking handsome in his suit, his hand holding mine, and I calm myself and keep my eyes closed, thinking of him.
And for the first time in a long time, I don't open them again until morning.
10
HUDSON