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ME

I saw your missed calls. What’s wrong?

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to answer. Was in the middle of a game.

After excruciating silence that stretches for what seems like an eternity (although it was likely only a minute), I decide to text Sam. She leaves tomorrow morning to come to Arizona for a few days, but she’s still in KC for the night.

ME

Have you talked to Danae today?

SAM

No, why?

ME

I don’t know. She called me four times during the game. No voicemail or text saying what’s up.

SAM

That doesn’t seem good. Have you called her back?

ME

Of course I called her back. She hasn’t answered though. It’s freaking me out.

SAM

Yeah you probably should be freaked out.

ME

Thanks. So helpful.

SAM

I’ll let you know if I hear anything. And let me know once you hear something.

I debate whether to drive to the condo Adrian and I are sharing or wait here longer to see if she’ll call back. Finally, I get a text from her.

DANAE

I’ll have to call you later after Jason is in bed.

ME

Is everything ok?

DANAE

I’ll call you later.

I have no secondary cues to go off of—no facial expressions, no body language, no tone of voice—only the written words of her text. But I don’t need any secondary information to sense the disappointment, the hurt behind Danae’s message.

Clearly, something iswrong. And I wasn’t available when she needed me.

This scenario is my worst nightmare, precisely because it’sherworst nightmare. The number one fear she vocalized about our relationship is playing out in real time, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. I can’t have my cell phone in the dugout. And even if I could, I can’t up and leave in the middle of a game. I certainly can’t hop on an airplane back to Kansas before spring training ends.