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“No. It wasn’t.”
We exit the path onto the pool deck. Sun glints off the blue water as we walk toward my old retreat. When we enter the pool house, meows from the kittens echo off the walls.
Nova races toward them and stares down into the playpen. “I thought they were crying, but I think they’re happy.”
She opens the playpen, freeing the furballs, and scoops up Itty-bitty, carrying her over to the rug. “Hi, pretty baby. I missed you.”
The groggy cat flops onto her side and lets Nova pet her belly.
“I shouldn’t have taken her away.” I sit next to Nova, the familiarity both happy and sad. Happy because it’s us and sad because it’s also not us—not anymore. Everything is different.
“Did you not like having her with you?” She doesn’t look at me but keeps her attention on the kittens, who sniff and paw one another, getting reacquainted.
“I loved having her with me. She reminded me of everything I loved when I was here. But she was lonely and missed her sister and brother. It wasn’t fair to her.”
“But then you would have been alone.”
I shrug and pet Poppy when she walks over and sniffs my pants. “I’m used to being alone. I can deal.”
“Doesn’t mean you should have to.”
“Are you mad at me, Nova?” I can’t take this awkwardness between us anymore.
Her eyes snap to mine. “No. Not at all. Are you mad at me?”
“Not at all,” I echo her. “Then what’s wrong? Your greeting was…incredible, then something shifted and I’m not sure if you want me around.”
She stares at me for a long moment, thoughts clouding her eyes.
“Just say it. You won’t hurt me.”
She frowns. “I don’t want to hurt you. I would never hurt you. I…” Her lips press together, and she visibly swallows.
“Nova?” I brush the backs of my fingers against her soft cheek.
She sighs, and her eyes close as she leans into my touch. This is the reaction I hoped for.
“Come here.” Before she goes distant again. I set Poppy with Itty-bitty and Vizzini and drag Nova onto my lap.
She comes willingly and nestles her face into the crook of my neck.
“I’ve missed this,” I breathe.
“I’ve missed it, too. So much.”
I stroke her hair. “Are you worried I’ll leave again?”
“Won’t you? You’re only here because of Marina and our protection.”
“I’m here for you, to protect you and Gigi.”
“We have Mr. Glenn and the best security. Besides, Marina hasn’t done anything, not since the letter. If you came back out of guilt or something, you don’t have to worry. We’re safe. You should be more concerned about yourself.”
“I’m not here out of guilt.”
“Then why?” She leans her head away and meets my gaze.
Tell her? Don’t tell her?I don’t want to scare her away.
“Riley, please?”
“I couldn’t be apart from you. Not anymore. It was killing me. I want to protect you. I want to be by your side.” I cup her hair and the back of her neck and pull her lips close. “I love you, Nova. And I’m terrified that I can’t have you.”
She exhales and then crushes her lips to mine in a sensual kiss. It’s urgent, desperate, hot, wet, sloppy, and everything I could have imagined.
“You can have me however you want me,” she murmurs against my lips and returns her tongue to my mouth for more of that kiss.
There’s more I want to say and ask. Answers, requests, so much more—but they can wait. With her in my arms, I want to cherish this moment. I want to cherish her in the way she deserves.