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“Not for long. I had Tarot Card Night planned for later, but I’m going to cancel. You need me more than my friends need their fortunes told. It’s not like we don’t do this regularly.”
“Wait.” I step around the bed to stand in front of her. “Tarot Card Night sounds like fun. I don’t want to sulk. I have a life to plan. A good fortune reading may help direct me.”
She tilts her head, her eyes narrowed with thought. “Are you sure? I have about seven people confirmed to come, but it’s not a problem to reschedule the event.”
“No. I want to join. It will be good for me.”
She beams and caresses my cheek. “See? So much strength amid hardship.”
My lips inch up with a small smile. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you, my dear.” She turns for the door. “I was planning a Mediterranean food theme. Greek tapas. How does that sound to you?”
“It sounds wonderful.”
Gigi waltzes from the room, and I follow but head for the kittens when she exits the doors. We haven’t left them open since getting the kittens. I should order a gate for the doors. I bet the kittens would like to see the outside world and they’re too little to jump high enough to escape.
Decided, I pull up a pet store app and order an extendable gate. I can have Mr. Jones install it if necessary. Even though he’s the gardener, he’s also the unofficial handyman around the estate.
The kittens meow. Vizzini and Poppy. Do they miss Itty-bitty and Riley? I hadn’t considered we’d be separating them. My thoughts had been on Riley and not wanting him to be alone. I wish I knew how he was doing. I wish I knew where he was.
If I’m wishing, I might as well wish him to be here and safe instead of in hiding.
I open the gate for Poppy and Vizzini to escape and sit on the corner of the rug so they don’t have to walk too far to get to me.
“Come on, babies. Come to Mama.”Mama.I laugh at myself. I guess I am, though.
With sleepy eyes, they make their way over to me. Vizzini plops onto my lap while Poppy rubs her head against my knee. Purring sounds come from both of them.
I get my phone from where I left it on the side table and record them for a minute. “Smile for the camera.” I move the phone to get each of their faces. Poppy sniffs the screen and goes back to rubbing her head on my knee. “This is new behavior,” I say, recording it. “What do you think, Vizzini?” He doesn’t bother to acknowledge me or the phone in his face. “How can you be sleepy? You just woke up.” I raise the phone to my face and roll my eyes. “Kittens.”
On a whim, I decide to post the video to my Instagram account.
I haven’t posted anything in nearly a month, but I have no way of reaching Riley, and I want him to see the kittens. Before he left, he told me not to text him, that he’d be changing his number and any connection to him could put me at risk.
He didn’t say I couldn’t post cryptic messages in the hope that he’ll see them and know they’re for his benefit.
As for the backlash this might—will—cause on social media, I don’t care anymore. This is more important to me. Screw any haters and tabloids for turning this into more than it is. They will always reach for something. It’s their job—a shitty job, but it’s not personal. It’s business.
Wow.This is the first time I’ve ever thought this way.
It’s freeing, not caring. “Screw social media!” I shout across the pool house.
The kittens tense and Poppy runs away.
“Sorry, baby.” I go after her and catch her to snuggle her against my cheek. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” I return to the rug and nearby blanket, where Vizzini has partially buried himself. “Sorry, boy. I didn’t mean to scare you, either.”
I pet his butt and tail, the only parts visible from the blanket.
“I was excited about recording a video for your daddy.”
My heart pinches, and I release a humorless laugh. “Daddy. Yes, that’s what Riley was to you two.”
Vizzini backs out from the blanket at the sound of Riley’s name. It could be a coincidence, but I choose to believe otherwise.
“Should we send him another video?” I ask, well aware that I’m conversing with kittens as if they were humans.
This time, I choose a cat face filter and record myself and the kittens as they sniff and paw each other. Then I show my cat-filtered face and blow a kiss at the camera. “We miss you.”
My eyes burn with a few tears as I post the video. I fight them back and put my attention on the kittens. New mindset.Remember, Nova. No sadness.Only happiness that I had time with Riley. That he helped me get over Justice, or realize what an ass he’d been and a fool I was for dating him. Riley helped me to see that I’m worthy of greatness.Like him.
No.I stop that train of thought before it turns sad and I ugly cry over the loss of him.
I give the kittens a few more pets before securing them in their playpen fence and showering.
“Water is a cleanser for the soul,” Gigi says sometimes. “Believe it washes away your troubles and it will.”
I work my hardest to convince myself of that, staying under the hot water longer than usual. After I’m dried and dressed, I get my sketchbook and colored pencils to keep my mind busy, and to draw some new ideas that came to me while I cleansed my soul in the shower.
When I’m done sketching them, I’ll show the drawings to Gigi and discuss having the outfits made. Today will be a positive day. I’ll make sure of it.