Page 32
Story: Hiding Forever
“It’s not going to happen.”
“But if you do...”
“You don’t know me very well.” I fold my arms, a little peeved.
“I know you dated a famous celebrity, and the media loves you.”
“Loves to hurt me is more like it.”
“I know.”
His somber tone, as if he cares, confuses me.
“What do you know about it?” I inch closer to him.
His gaze roams my face. “Only what I’ve seen. It’s bullshit. You’re gorgeous.”
He says it with such conviction, I can’t help but smile. “Thank you.”
Now he really studies my face and unless I’m mistaken, he looks mesmerized.
Figures. The one time I find a guy who possibly sees me for me and not who I’m related to, and he’s leaving.
He walks toward the door.
I don’t know why but I blurt, “I hope everything works out for you.”
He looks over his shoulder at me, his navy eyes beguiling. “You too, Nova.”
Hearing him say my name causes a physical reaction in me I can’t quite explain. Butterflies erupt, heat explodes, my heart palpitates, and my breath freezes in my lungs.
Is this desperation or something more? Not that it matters regarding Riley because he’s leaving, but I’d like to know for me. I haven’t felt this way about a guy since high school. I dated a boy who had charm and manners similar to Riley. The great-grandson to one of America’s oldest and wealthiest families. He was super preppy and not my type at all, but he asked me to a school dance, and I thought why not. All the girls seemed to envy me for going with him, but no one more than his ex-girlfriend Caroline, who suddenly wanted him back. He only had eyes for me, though—for one night, anyway. He never asked me out again and I never knew why, though I suspected it had to do with Caroline.
It was the last time a guy ever made me feel special. Even Justice, with all his fame and grandeur, couldn’t make me feel that way. He was more about pleasing himself, and I was desperate enough to let him undervalue me. A mistake I don’t plan to repeat again. Not with anyone.
I study the sketch I’d been working on for about an hour. Is it pants or a dress? I can’t decide and I’m not in the mood to try to figure it out. Where’s my passion? I can’t draw great designs if I’m not inspired.
On my phone, I pull up the self-improvement and personal development blog I’ve been following. Porsha says it’s her go-to for mental blockage and moving out of ruts.
So far I’ve done several worksheets and read about how to heal a broken heart, as well as how not to repeat past mistakes and how to move on. Is it helping? Not yet. But I’m not one to give up easily.
Today the post is about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Do something you want to avoid or resist, especially if it involves people or loved ones.
Not really doable in my current situation.
A text flashes on my phone.
Gigi: I’m hosting Game Show Night and would love it if you joined.
Me: Game Show Night?
Gigi: A few of us started it last month after hearing about the game show America Says. Have you seen it?
Me: No. Where is this taking place?
Gigi: At the house, or rather the backyard. It would be good for you. Who knows, you might even have fun.
My immediate reaction is to come up with an excuse to get out of Game Show Night, but then I think about what I just read.
“But if you do...”
“You don’t know me very well.” I fold my arms, a little peeved.
“I know you dated a famous celebrity, and the media loves you.”
“Loves to hurt me is more like it.”
“I know.”
His somber tone, as if he cares, confuses me.
“What do you know about it?” I inch closer to him.
His gaze roams my face. “Only what I’ve seen. It’s bullshit. You’re gorgeous.”
He says it with such conviction, I can’t help but smile. “Thank you.”
Now he really studies my face and unless I’m mistaken, he looks mesmerized.
Figures. The one time I find a guy who possibly sees me for me and not who I’m related to, and he’s leaving.
He walks toward the door.
I don’t know why but I blurt, “I hope everything works out for you.”
He looks over his shoulder at me, his navy eyes beguiling. “You too, Nova.”
Hearing him say my name causes a physical reaction in me I can’t quite explain. Butterflies erupt, heat explodes, my heart palpitates, and my breath freezes in my lungs.
Is this desperation or something more? Not that it matters regarding Riley because he’s leaving, but I’d like to know for me. I haven’t felt this way about a guy since high school. I dated a boy who had charm and manners similar to Riley. The great-grandson to one of America’s oldest and wealthiest families. He was super preppy and not my type at all, but he asked me to a school dance, and I thought why not. All the girls seemed to envy me for going with him, but no one more than his ex-girlfriend Caroline, who suddenly wanted him back. He only had eyes for me, though—for one night, anyway. He never asked me out again and I never knew why, though I suspected it had to do with Caroline.
It was the last time a guy ever made me feel special. Even Justice, with all his fame and grandeur, couldn’t make me feel that way. He was more about pleasing himself, and I was desperate enough to let him undervalue me. A mistake I don’t plan to repeat again. Not with anyone.
I study the sketch I’d been working on for about an hour. Is it pants or a dress? I can’t decide and I’m not in the mood to try to figure it out. Where’s my passion? I can’t draw great designs if I’m not inspired.
On my phone, I pull up the self-improvement and personal development blog I’ve been following. Porsha says it’s her go-to for mental blockage and moving out of ruts.
So far I’ve done several worksheets and read about how to heal a broken heart, as well as how not to repeat past mistakes and how to move on. Is it helping? Not yet. But I’m not one to give up easily.
Today the post is about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Do something you want to avoid or resist, especially if it involves people or loved ones.
Not really doable in my current situation.
A text flashes on my phone.
Gigi: I’m hosting Game Show Night and would love it if you joined.
Me: Game Show Night?
Gigi: A few of us started it last month after hearing about the game show America Says. Have you seen it?
Me: No. Where is this taking place?
Gigi: At the house, or rather the backyard. It would be good for you. Who knows, you might even have fun.
My immediate reaction is to come up with an excuse to get out of Game Show Night, but then I think about what I just read.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112