Page 55
Story: Hiding Forever
“Being away from Justice and his toxic lifestyle is helping me see how disconnected I’d become from what matters. I’ve been thinking about how you said I isolated myself by choice.”
“I didn’t mean it in a—”
I hold up my hand. “No, it’s okay. I’m not upset. It helped me realize that I’ve spent most of my life afraid to fit in.”
“I think a lot of people do that for one reason or another, especially in high school.” He bites his omelet.
“I also think I’m a pro at feeling sorry for myself, but I’m finally coming around to seeing the light and all.”
“What light is that?” He takes another bite.
“The one people have been trying to shine on me. The one where I accept that Justice wasn’t a good boyfriend, and I was with him for the wrong reasons.”
“Why were you with him?” His tone is genuine, not accusing.
I fold my hands together on the smooth surface of the table. “According to my mother, I was being rebellious and acting out of character.”
“And according to you?”
I love how he asks my thoughts instead of assuming my mother is right. “It was out of character for me, but only because I was lost and lonely. I had no one to talk to about my dad. My mom and Gigi never liked him. I felt more alone than ever.”
“I know about feeling lonely. It sucks.”
“It does. My mom was never around when I was growing up. She still isn’t, which is why I always clung to friends or Gigi.” I glance toward the main house. “Anyone who gave me attention. I’d met Justice at a club one night. His friend was interested in me but then Justice made me the focus of his attention and his friend backed off. It felt good to be wanted, and Justice was a great distraction. We traveled, stayed at his penthouse in Manhattan and his house in Beverly Hills. He rented out Disneyland, flew us to Europe on a whim. We had the best seats at games. Private viewings of movies before they released. We traveled all over South America and Europe, stopping to visit every tourist attraction with private entry and tours. It was a whirlwind of nonstop events, which I realize now is why I stayed. But I wasn’t rebelling. I was escaping.”
He says the word at the same time as me. “I’ve been escaping for a long time, too.”
“From what?” I mean to say,You have?, but that’s not what comes out.
He sets his fork on his now-empty plate and gives me a long, hard stare. “I trust you, Nova. It seems like we have a lot in common. But if I tell you why I’m here, you might not want to be around me, and I don’t want that.”
“You don’t?”
“You’re the first person I’ve connected with in a long time. I’m not ready to lose that yet.”
“Why would you lose it? When I become friends with a person, it’s forever. I’ve known abandonment, Riley. I would never do that to someone else without a helluva good reason.”
He sets his plate on the tray. “Well, my reason might be good enough.”
I put my hand over his. “I doubt that.”
He stares at our hands together on the table.
“Sorry.” I move mine to my lap. “I’m a touchy-feely person.”
“I don’t mind.”
“And I don’t mind if you tell me the reason you’re here. I don’t frighten easily.”
One of the kittens meows, sounding like it’s crying. Another one joins in and soon all three are meowing for attention.
“Saved by the kittens,” I tease and sit on the floor by Vizzini. I pet his head and pull Poppy onto my lap.
Riley curls Itty-bitty in his hands. “Do you think they’re hungry again?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I should have asked for a pamphlet on how to care for them. Wait. I think Linda put one in the box.” I carry Vizzini to the box and find a paper of instructions.
Poppy cries again, and Riley places her in his lap.
“I didn’t mean it in a—”
I hold up my hand. “No, it’s okay. I’m not upset. It helped me realize that I’ve spent most of my life afraid to fit in.”
“I think a lot of people do that for one reason or another, especially in high school.” He bites his omelet.
“I also think I’m a pro at feeling sorry for myself, but I’m finally coming around to seeing the light and all.”
“What light is that?” He takes another bite.
“The one people have been trying to shine on me. The one where I accept that Justice wasn’t a good boyfriend, and I was with him for the wrong reasons.”
“Why were you with him?” His tone is genuine, not accusing.
I fold my hands together on the smooth surface of the table. “According to my mother, I was being rebellious and acting out of character.”
“And according to you?”
I love how he asks my thoughts instead of assuming my mother is right. “It was out of character for me, but only because I was lost and lonely. I had no one to talk to about my dad. My mom and Gigi never liked him. I felt more alone than ever.”
“I know about feeling lonely. It sucks.”
“It does. My mom was never around when I was growing up. She still isn’t, which is why I always clung to friends or Gigi.” I glance toward the main house. “Anyone who gave me attention. I’d met Justice at a club one night. His friend was interested in me but then Justice made me the focus of his attention and his friend backed off. It felt good to be wanted, and Justice was a great distraction. We traveled, stayed at his penthouse in Manhattan and his house in Beverly Hills. He rented out Disneyland, flew us to Europe on a whim. We had the best seats at games. Private viewings of movies before they released. We traveled all over South America and Europe, stopping to visit every tourist attraction with private entry and tours. It was a whirlwind of nonstop events, which I realize now is why I stayed. But I wasn’t rebelling. I was escaping.”
He says the word at the same time as me. “I’ve been escaping for a long time, too.”
“From what?” I mean to say,You have?, but that’s not what comes out.
He sets his fork on his now-empty plate and gives me a long, hard stare. “I trust you, Nova. It seems like we have a lot in common. But if I tell you why I’m here, you might not want to be around me, and I don’t want that.”
“You don’t?”
“You’re the first person I’ve connected with in a long time. I’m not ready to lose that yet.”
“Why would you lose it? When I become friends with a person, it’s forever. I’ve known abandonment, Riley. I would never do that to someone else without a helluva good reason.”
He sets his plate on the tray. “Well, my reason might be good enough.”
I put my hand over his. “I doubt that.”
He stares at our hands together on the table.
“Sorry.” I move mine to my lap. “I’m a touchy-feely person.”
“I don’t mind.”
“And I don’t mind if you tell me the reason you’re here. I don’t frighten easily.”
One of the kittens meows, sounding like it’s crying. Another one joins in and soon all three are meowing for attention.
“Saved by the kittens,” I tease and sit on the floor by Vizzini. I pet his head and pull Poppy onto my lap.
Riley curls Itty-bitty in his hands. “Do you think they’re hungry again?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I should have asked for a pamphlet on how to care for them. Wait. I think Linda put one in the box.” I carry Vizzini to the box and find a paper of instructions.
Poppy cries again, and Riley places her in his lap.
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