Page 24
Story: Hiding Forever
Those are for me? I thought they were left over from some other guest. “Gigi. That wasn’t necessary.”
“Grandmas like to spoil their grandchildren. I only have one, so you get extra.” She pats my cheek. “I’ll be at the meeting for a few hours. We have water issues to deal with. Someone is always complaining that we’re not getting enough.”
“It’s California. Aren’t there always water shortages?”
“Yes, but this is more of a private property issue. Perhaps I should have a rain dance party and see if we can stir the spirits to help us.”
I laugh, even though I know she’s serious.
“See you later, darling.” Gigi heads for the door. “Text Inez if you need anything.”
“Thanks,” I call out as she disappears down the hallway.
I explore the new clothes she bought me. They’re all in my size. Gigi’s personal shopper is amazing—can take one look at a person, even if it’s in a picture, and know what size he or she wears. The outfits are beautiful and very much my style—a little sweet, a little sexy, solid colors, no patterns.
You’re too thick and short to pull off stripes or patterns, Mom’s voice sounds in my mind.
I shake my head to get rid of it and choose an outfit of my own. Something casual and comfortable compared to the clothes I wore for the last year. Justice liked me to be done up all the time, as if we were going to a club. Don’t get me wrong. I love dressing up, but not on a regular basis. I pull on a T-shirt that hangs off one shoulder, forgo a bra, and pair it with cut-off jean shorts and sneakers. I hate bras. They’re uncomfortable and the few pretty ones that fit breasts as big as mine offer little support.
Justice liked when I didn’t wear a bra; Mom hates it. “Your boobs will sag prematurely,” she’d complain.
Ugh.I’m not here to think about either of them, but if I don’t find something to do, I’ll drive myself crazy.
I could go for a walk around the property or lay out by the pool. I could sketch. I glance at the desk with the pad of paper and colored pencils, but my eyes seek the view beyond the balcony and sun-drenched sky.
For the last month, Justice and I were in New York, where it was freezing. Before that, we were in Northern Europe, where it’s just as cold. We stayed up late and slept during the day, rarely seeing the sun, not that there is much in those places during those months. If my skin weren’t naturally bronze, I’d be as pale as Gigi. Justice liked that about me, too. My skin. He was born in Canada and had the pasty skin that goes with it.
Stop. Thinking. About. Him.I smack my head with each word, then trek down the hallway to the stairs—anything to distract my mind.
On the first floor, I pop into the kitchen for a Gatorade. The room is spotless, and Inez is nowhere in sight.
Good. I don’t want to explain what I’m doing or get a lecture on how to take care of myself.
I’m about to exit the side door when I remember it leads to the garage and home gym. What if I run into Riley?
Turning on my heel, I race out of the kitchen, down the corridor, and pass through the open French doors, praying I don’t run into anyone at all. I should have brought my earbuds. No one will bother me if they think I’m listening to music.
But I’m not going back inside and upstairs to my room to get them. It’s far and I want to be in the sun.
Strolling along the stone path, I veer to the left, away from the trail that leads to the pool house. Palm branches sway in the breeze with a rustling sound. I inhale a breath of nature and relax my tense shoulders as I lift my face to the warm rays.
My mom’s voice echoes in my head.Are you wearing sunblock? Where’s your hat? You don’t want to age prematurely.
“Stop, stop, stop.” I cover my ears, because that makes sense.
My butt cheek vibrates. I take my phone from my pocket and answer, seeing it’s Porsha.
“Hey.”
“Hey. How are you doing, hun?” Sincerity rings in her tone.
“I’m hanging in there. How are you doing? How’s Paris?”
“It’s crowded for spring. More than usual. We just got back from the Riviera for a week. The weather was beautiful, but it was crowded there, too.”
I can hear the eye roll in her voice.
“Is the whole family with you?” Her father makes them take a family vacation every year to France. He started it after he separated from their mother, as though vacations to France fix his cheating on their mom and then leaving her for the other woman.
“Grandmas like to spoil their grandchildren. I only have one, so you get extra.” She pats my cheek. “I’ll be at the meeting for a few hours. We have water issues to deal with. Someone is always complaining that we’re not getting enough.”
“It’s California. Aren’t there always water shortages?”
“Yes, but this is more of a private property issue. Perhaps I should have a rain dance party and see if we can stir the spirits to help us.”
I laugh, even though I know she’s serious.
“See you later, darling.” Gigi heads for the door. “Text Inez if you need anything.”
“Thanks,” I call out as she disappears down the hallway.
I explore the new clothes she bought me. They’re all in my size. Gigi’s personal shopper is amazing—can take one look at a person, even if it’s in a picture, and know what size he or she wears. The outfits are beautiful and very much my style—a little sweet, a little sexy, solid colors, no patterns.
You’re too thick and short to pull off stripes or patterns, Mom’s voice sounds in my mind.
I shake my head to get rid of it and choose an outfit of my own. Something casual and comfortable compared to the clothes I wore for the last year. Justice liked me to be done up all the time, as if we were going to a club. Don’t get me wrong. I love dressing up, but not on a regular basis. I pull on a T-shirt that hangs off one shoulder, forgo a bra, and pair it with cut-off jean shorts and sneakers. I hate bras. They’re uncomfortable and the few pretty ones that fit breasts as big as mine offer little support.
Justice liked when I didn’t wear a bra; Mom hates it. “Your boobs will sag prematurely,” she’d complain.
Ugh.I’m not here to think about either of them, but if I don’t find something to do, I’ll drive myself crazy.
I could go for a walk around the property or lay out by the pool. I could sketch. I glance at the desk with the pad of paper and colored pencils, but my eyes seek the view beyond the balcony and sun-drenched sky.
For the last month, Justice and I were in New York, where it was freezing. Before that, we were in Northern Europe, where it’s just as cold. We stayed up late and slept during the day, rarely seeing the sun, not that there is much in those places during those months. If my skin weren’t naturally bronze, I’d be as pale as Gigi. Justice liked that about me, too. My skin. He was born in Canada and had the pasty skin that goes with it.
Stop. Thinking. About. Him.I smack my head with each word, then trek down the hallway to the stairs—anything to distract my mind.
On the first floor, I pop into the kitchen for a Gatorade. The room is spotless, and Inez is nowhere in sight.
Good. I don’t want to explain what I’m doing or get a lecture on how to take care of myself.
I’m about to exit the side door when I remember it leads to the garage and home gym. What if I run into Riley?
Turning on my heel, I race out of the kitchen, down the corridor, and pass through the open French doors, praying I don’t run into anyone at all. I should have brought my earbuds. No one will bother me if they think I’m listening to music.
But I’m not going back inside and upstairs to my room to get them. It’s far and I want to be in the sun.
Strolling along the stone path, I veer to the left, away from the trail that leads to the pool house. Palm branches sway in the breeze with a rustling sound. I inhale a breath of nature and relax my tense shoulders as I lift my face to the warm rays.
My mom’s voice echoes in my head.Are you wearing sunblock? Where’s your hat? You don’t want to age prematurely.
“Stop, stop, stop.” I cover my ears, because that makes sense.
My butt cheek vibrates. I take my phone from my pocket and answer, seeing it’s Porsha.
“Hey.”
“Hey. How are you doing, hun?” Sincerity rings in her tone.
“I’m hanging in there. How are you doing? How’s Paris?”
“It’s crowded for spring. More than usual. We just got back from the Riviera for a week. The weather was beautiful, but it was crowded there, too.”
I can hear the eye roll in her voice.
“Is the whole family with you?” Her father makes them take a family vacation every year to France. He started it after he separated from their mother, as though vacations to France fix his cheating on their mom and then leaving her for the other woman.
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