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I’d lost track of who was who, but I was pretty sure she belonged to Ethan’s brother’s son, so a cousin of some sort? This family tree was huge and confusing. But this little girl was cute as a button, so I said, “Yeah, I really am. What’s your name?”
“Lila.” She studied me for a moment before her face split into a sunny grin. “I’m glad you’re here. We can be best cousins!”
Did my heart melt? Hell yes, it did. “Aaw, thanks. I’d love that.”
“Can you sit next to me for dinner?”
“Yep, absolutely.”
There was nothing like an adorable preschooler to make you feel more comfortable, I guess.
Laura laughed. “Perfect timing, because by the way Ethan is looking at me, the meat is ready.”
As everyone began lining up to fill their plates, I felt a gentle bump against my shoulder. It was Rhett, his warm presence reassuring me as always. “All okay?”
Not sure why him looking at me like that had my heart flipping over, but here we were, I guess. “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
He quirked his brow, nudging me forward in line.
“I mean, sure, there are a lot of people here. And they all keep sneaking glances at me. And I’m the center of attention, which is exactly where I looove to be, as you know.”
“You’re babbling. Feeling a bit psycho?”
“More than a bit. Does it show?”
“Only to me. To everyone else, you’re the epitome of cool, calm and collected.”
“Har har.”
His smile faded and his eyes grew serious. “No, it’s true. I mean, there are tells. You’re more fidgety, you’re constantly taking deep breaths to calm yourself. And you don’t know where to look half the time, because everyone’s looking back at you. But like I said, if I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t notice. Beef or chicken?”
“Huh?”
He gestured to the trays of meat laid out on the table.
“Oh. Um, chicken. Thanks, Ethan.” My heart almost melted at the way Ethan smiled back at me. What a revelation, having a dad who was happy to see me.
We piled our plates up and headed back to the long tables.
Now my mind was mulling over what Rhett had said moments before. It was a little disconcerting how well this man knew me. And how adept he was becoming at calming me down. Holding his plate in one hand, he pulled my chair out with the other. “Thanks for that.”
“Like I always say, it’s worrying when you’re polite to me.”
Just like that. Lifting my mood, while also bringing me back down to earth. I could kiss him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No reason. “
Over dinner, everything went really well. I managed to chat with a few people and have fun with Lila. Then, just as I was sliding into what felt like a real comfort zone, my phone pinged.
Glancing at the screen, I saw it was from my mom. My stomach clenched instinctively. With an apologetic smile, I excused myself from the table and made my way inside, ignoring Rhett’s questioning look.
Once in the quiet living room, I opened the message. I read it twice, my heart sinking. Even after all this time, all these years of therapy and hard work on myself, this shit still cut me so fucking deep.
Mom:Scarlett, I can’t believe you’re going through with this. How could you do this to us? After everything your father and I have done for you, you’re just going to abandon your real family to chase after those strangers? We took you in and gave you a good life. Theleast you could do is show us some loyalty. You wouldn’t believe how upset your father is.
What in the ever-loving fuck was I meant to say to that? It just seemed so deeply unfair and unnecessarily hurtful. Opening old, partially healed wounds just so they could feel good about themselves. As though their choice to adopt me was an act of charity. I was just some stray dog they took in off the streets. Fuck. Tears pricked my eyes as that familiar feeling of never being good enough sliced through me.