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“I was allowed to hold you in my arms for all of ten minutes before they took you away. Then I was dragged back to Tennessee and expected to go on like nothing had ever happened. Back to high school. To church. To family dinners. That lasted until I turned eighteen. I packed up and moved asfar away as I could from my asshole family. I mean, that wasn’t exactly far. I had no money, no job, barely any clothes and no place to live. So I walked into the next big town, where I slept on the streets for a few weeks, until a lady from a woman’s shelter found me.”
Laura’s story was utterly compelling, and I hung on her every word. Maybe Rhett did too, because he’d barely moved since she started talking.
“You were okay after that, then?”
“Not straight away, but it did start getting better, yes. I got a job, a stable place to live, and started saving my own money. There were two huge holes in my heart, though, and getting through every day was a struggle. Heck, even just remembering to breathe was hard work sometimes.” Even though I could tell it was hard for her to keep going, I had to know. “So how’d you and Ethan find each other again after all that time?”
“It was totally by chance, actually. I was just flipping through TV channels at the diner I worked at and saw a story about a house fire over in Knoxville. Turns out, Ethan had rushed into the burning building and saved a whole family. Risked his life, got bad smoke inhalation and all.”
She shook her head, still seeming to be amazed by it. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him being interviewed. My Ethan, my brave, awesome Ethan - he was alive and still helping people, just like I remembered. My heart practically stopped right then and there.”
“I bet.”
Laura took a deep breath before going on. “I knew I had to reach out to him, no matter how much time had passed or…or everything else. Bearing in mind that at that point, I didn’t know what my family had told him, didn’t know he thought I’d miscarried. I was terrified of what he would do or say. That love we had, I could never let it go completely. So I tracked him down and, uh, hoped against all hope that he’d be able to forgive me.”
I watched as her eyes got all watery with the memories. “And he did,” she said, her voice cracking a little. “Of course he did. He’d never forgotten about me or... or you, Scarlett. Not for a single second. We talked for hours that first time. Catching up on everything, filling in all those blank years. Ethan told me about how my dad and brothers chased him away with a shotgun, and how he spent weeks looking for me before giving up, because he thought I was gone for good. He said it nearly destroyed him. Of course, I had to tell him about you, which, you know, nearly destroyed him all over again. He was so cut up that I’d gone through all that on my own, but I didn’t blame him. How could I?”
She shook her head; her smile a little shaky. “After that first visit, we were inseparable again, just like no time had passed. We dated for a couple of years before finally getting married.”
Laura let out a soft little laugh. “I think we would’ve tied the knot a lot sooner, but Ethan was all about doing things ‘the right way’ for me. Always such a gentleman, my Ethan.”
“And that’s when you had your other kids?” I asked gently, when she went quiet for a minute.
She nodded, brushing away some more tears. “Yep, that’s right. Four amazing babies to make up for the one we lost way back when.” Laura looked at me with adoration shining in her eyes. “Not that any of them could ever replace you, our first.”
Fuck, those words hit me right in the heart. And guts. The sincerity in them, the pure, open emotion - it was almost too much for me to handle. Years of feeling lonely and abandoned had turned into this mess of confusion and heartache inside me. Part of me wanted to get up and hug her, to finally have a mom who could make things better. But another part of me was still all freaked out and defensive from being rejected my whole life.
I guess a bit of what I was feeling showed on my face, because Laura said, “I know this is a lot to take in. I don’t expect you to just accept me right away or anything. I get it. This is crazy.” She gave me a wobbly smile that almost had me smiling back. “All I’m asking is that you give me, give us a chance. Let me get to know you, the awesome person you’ve become. Even if it’s just a little bit at a time, I’d be so grateful.”
Her words were heavy with all the hopes and fears she wasn’t saying out loud. I studied her face, trying to take it all in. This was my birth mom, my one shot at finally understanding where I came from and not feeling so alone anymore.
But could I really open myself up to that? Let someone else in who had the power to hurt me all over again? I glanced over at Rhett, sitting there watching everything go down. When our eyes met, I saw him offering me his support, his understanding. That steadied me, somehow. I turned back to Laura and lifted my chin a bit. “Okay,” I said, the word feeling important, somehow. “Okay, I’ll give you a chance. But I can’t promise anything, and I gotta take this one step at a time. If that’s okay with you.”
Relief and gratitude washed over her face as she blinked away tears. “Of course, I totally understand. One step at a time, whatever you need. I’m just so grateful you’re giving me this opportunity after all these years. Thank you, Scarlett. Really, thank you.” She stood up. “Now, honey, I think that’s enough fortoday. You look worn out. Rhett here has my number, so you just get him to give me a call when you’re ready. We’re all hanging around to wait for the results of the donor tests.”
“Uh, who is ‘we’re all.’ you’re talking about?” Rhett asked.
“Everyone who might be a possible match. Ethan and me, obviously, and the kids. My three sisters and their kids, Ethan’s half-brothers and his sister, plus all of their kids. And Ethan’s parents.”
“Ev-everyone?” Oh fuck. “For me?”
“Yes, honey. Of course, for you. As soon as I got that letter from the doctor telling us you were sick and needed us, we started making plans.” Just like that, they’d started making plans for someone they’d never met. The idea of having so many potential donors, so many people invested in me, was both overwhelming and deeply moving. “I don’t know what to say to that.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just get some rest and we’ll talk soon.”
There was an awkward moment where I thought she was going to hug me or kiss me, but I wasn’t quite ready for that, so I stayed put. “Sure. We’ll talk soon.”
“Bye. Bye, Rhett.”
“Bye, Laura.”
And she was gone, leaving me drowning in all these confusing, overwhelming feelings. Goddammit, I was sick of feeling all this stuff. So, so over it.
I guess it was obvious, because Rhett said, “How are you holding up?”
I let out a shaky breath, raking my fingers through my hair. “I’m... I’m not sure. This is all so much to take in.” My voice cracked with weariness. “I think I just need some time alone, if that’s okay?”
“Of course, whatever you need.” He rose from his chair and crossed over to me. “I think you need a hug, though.”