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A melancholy quiet settled over us at that point and we sat in it as we picked at the food. Finally, Stef said, “What are you going to do?”
“Fucked if I know.”
CHAPTER37
Esme
Iwinced as another sharp pang of pain radiated from my lower abdomen. Gripping the kitchen counter, I closed my eyes and took a deep, calming breath. I was knee-deep in chores and utterly exhausted. The last thing I needed were these relentless period cramps. Every movement seemed to provoke them, and I wished for nothing more than to curl up on the couch with a hot water bottle.
But life wouldn’t pause for my discomfort. The dishwasher beeped, signaling the end of its cycle, and I forced myself to stand upright. With a determined grimace, I unloaded the steaming dishes, my mind stubbornly focused on the tasks ahead. There was so much to do before school pick up, I didn’t have time to rest.
As I stacked the last of the bowls into the cupboard, a nagging worry crept into my mind, adding to how utterly shit I already felt. Ariel had been out of sorts all week. The few times I’d asked if everything was okay, she’d muttered a terse “Yes, I’m fine,” before retreating to her room. I knew that ‘fine’ often meant anything but, especially with kids her age and I made a mental note to talk to her, to try to get her to open up to me.
The sudden knock at the door jolted me out of my thoughts. “Fuck.” The last thing I needed was a visitor, not now. Dragging my aching body to the door, I mentally prepared to fend off whoever it was, only to have my annoyance evaporate when I saw Wolfe standing there. My heart gave a surprised little leap, and I even managed a smile, despite the knives stabbing into my uterus.
Wolfe took one look at me and, without missing a beat, said, “You look like shit.” His frank assessment was both a punch to the gut and a strange relief. I felt every bit as awful as I must have looked. “Thanks. I feel like shit.” I pulled the door wide and stepped back to let him in, letting myself draw in a deep breath of his intoxicating cologne as he moved past me.
He came inside, carrying a cooler bag into the kitchen, his brow furrowing with concern. “What’s going on? Are you sick?” he asked, placing the bag on the counter.
I sighed, leaning against the doorframe, feeling the ache in my belly. “No, just bad period pain.” I attempted a smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace.
“You need to lie down,” he declared, going straight to the medicine cupboard and looking inside. His assertiveness, while well-intentioned, only exacerbated my frustration with my body’s limitations.
“I don’t have time to lie down,” I snapped, more sharply than I intended. “I’ve got the rest of the laundry to do, a quiz to study for, and I have to get the kids from school.”
Wolfe seemed unfazed by my tone, removing a heat pack and some pain relief tablets from the cupboard. “You’re in no state to study. I’ll have a go at the laundry and I can get the kids from school.” His voice was gentle, but firm, the sort of tone that brooked no argument. He filled a glass with water and handed it to me, along with the pills.
Then he put the heat pack in the microwave, pressed some buttons, and leaned back against the counter, folding his arms. He looked heartbreakingly handsome in that effortless way of his, making me feel a pang of something unidentifiable as I watched him. Still, I couldn’t just let him take over.
“All the kids except Ariel have swimming lessons after school,” I said, my voice still holding a hint of defiance.
“I can also take them there.” His response was immediate and decisive.
My head spun, and I tried to muster more energy to argue, but the pain was really taking its toll. “Wolfe, I can’t just—” The microwave beeped, cutting me off, and Wolfe removed the heat pack, gesturing to me.
“Come on.” His tone left no room for argument, but I was still trying to protest, albeit half-heartedly by now.
He led me up the hallway to my bedroom, his frustration growing more apparent with each step. “For fuck’s sake!” he finally burst out. “What do I have to do to make you rest? Get in bed with you and make sure you stay there?” His words hung in the air, a challenge and a question, and I felt a new ache, one that had nothing to do with my physical pain.
Suddenly overwhelmed, the weight of my exhaustion and pain finally catching up with me, tears threatened, and all I could do was nod in reply. The tension seemed to drain out of him as he pulled back the blankets, gesturing for me to climb in. Without a word, I slipped between the sheets, and he climbed in behind me. Handing me the warm heat pack, he pulled me gently against him, spooning me. The feeling of his body, strong and reassuring against mine, eased some of the discomfort, and I finally relaxed a bit.
His arms felt so good around me, and I sank into that. Sank into the warmth they offered. I was so fucking tired that I was drifting off to sleep in no time at all. Wolfe stirred and pulled away from me, and I wanted to protest. Wanted to say,No, don’t go!But I was stuck in that hazy place between waking and dreaming. I felt his fingers gently brushing against my temple, his whispered words in my ear. “I love you.” It was so soft and so unexpected. I sank deeper into sleep, convinced that I was dreaming. That he hadn’t really said that.
Some hours later, I woke up in bed alone, feeling so much better. The aching had faded, leaving me refreshed but puzzled. I lay there for a little while, going over what Wolfe had just done. It confused me more now than ever. I remembered the feel of his arms, the warmth, the comfort, and those words. Did he really say “I love you”? Or was it part of a half-dream as I drifted into sleep? I couldn’t be sure.
The sound of Wolfe’s car in the drive and the cheerful chatter of the kids snapped me out of my daze. Pushing aside the weird and confusing thoughts, I got out of bed and went to join my family, Wolfe’s maybe-dreamed words still lingering in the back of my mind.
Opening the front door, the first thing I saw was Ariel’s smiling face, and it stopped me in my tracks. It was the happiest she’d looked all week, her blue eyes shining. Whatever had upset her seemed to be gone. Although I felt a wave of relief wash over me, I made a mental note to check in with her later, just to be sure.
For now, the younger kids were bubbling with excitement as they greeted me. Their voices were overlapping as they filled me in on their swimming lessons. Florian was all grins, telling me about the race he’d won, his sandy brown hair still damp. Tiana was super proud of her perfect dive and Belle had swum to the edge and got herself out twice.
“That’s all very exciting! I’m sorry I missed it.”
“That’s okay. Wolfe watched the whole thing, and he clapped the loudest when I jumped into the deep end,” Belle said proudly.
I raised my eyes to his, my heart lurching at how he was smiling at me. “I’m glad. Now you need to go wash up for dinner.”
Pushing his hair back from his eyes, Florian asked, “What are we having?”