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Esme
The flat gray sky stretched out above me like a suffocating blanket. It was such a perfect mirror of how I felt that I almost could have laughed at it. The drive home from the morning school run gave me way too much time alone with my thoughts. If only Stef was in town. I could really do with a dose of her energy right now. Or maybe not, since the only proper conversation we’d had since I’d ended things with Wolfe was her telling me, very gently, that she thought I’d made a mistake. Now, six weeks after the fact, I was wondering if she was right, because god knows, I’d struggle to feel shittier than I did right now. The melancholy haze that had settled over me since he left dragged me down relentlessly. Jesus Christ, talk about dramatic! It wasn’t like I was in love with the guy or anything.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have let him go,” I whispered to myself, gripping the steering wheel tightly. But that was stupid talk and as I did every time I questioned my decision, I pictured my baby sister, in the shower, her arm red and sore, tears pouring down her face. Yep, that’ll do it. I missed Wolfe, sure, but things were over between us and endlessly dwelling on that fact wouldn’t change it.
I pulled up in the drive, dragging myself out of the car and once inside, headed straight to the coffee machine and switched it on. In no time at all, the scent of freshly brewed coffee enveloped me, and for a moment, I allowed myself to be comforted by it. Pouring a cup, I carried it to the dining table and opened my laptop. I steeled myself for a day of trying to force myself to concentrate on the online course I’d just started. Even that upset me, though, since the only reason I could even do this course was because Wolfe arranged the child support. Sigh.
An hour passed, and despite my best efforts, I just couldn’t focus. My thoughts kept drifting back to Wolfe, and I wondered what he might be doing at this very moment. Working at the office in Raleigh? At his condo? In the gym, all sweaty and…
My phone pinged, and I felt a jolt of excitement when I glanced at the screen. A text.
Wolfe:Hey Esme, can I drop by for 5 minutes? I have something for the kids.
My heart pounding, I stared at the screen. It was like my obsessive thoughts had summoned him. I hesitated, my thumb hovering over the screen. Really, I should say no. Like, definitely. But then, I let myself off the hook by reasoning that he’d said this was about the kids. I typed out a quick reply:
Me:Sure thing, see you soon
As I hit send, I felt a sudden surge of energy hit me, like a bolt of lightning. The mere thought of seeing Wolfe again after all this time had completely wiped out my dull mood.
I rushed to the bathroom, grabbing my hairbrush and running it through my long, pale hair. After a few quick strokes, I tossed it on the counter and dashed back into my room. Rummaging through my closet, I found a cute dress I hadn’t worn in ages–a simple, floral print that always made me feel pretty. Refusing to think about why the fuck I was getting changed for a flyby, five-minute visit, I slipped it on. I felt the butterflies in my stomach fluttering as I went out to the living room.
Standing at the window, I watched as Wolfe’s car pulled into my driveway. My heart was racing, and I took deep breaths to calm myself. This wasn’t some grand romantic reunion; he was simply dropping something off for the kids. I needed to keep my emotions in check.
I made myself wait until he actually knocked on the door, rather than giving into my instinct, which was to tear it open and run straight into his arms. Finally, the sound of his knock reverberated through my little house.
Holy. Fuck. Did he get hotter? How was that even possible? His dark hair was tousled and when he pulled his sunglasses off, his hazel eyes were bright.
“Hey Esme,” he greeted me with a warm smile, and I felt my heart melt just a little.
“Hi,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. I stepped back and swung the door wide, gesturing for him to come in. “It’s good to see you.”
“Likewise,” he said, stepping inside. “How are the kids?”
“They’re great. All happy to be back at school. Belle loves her teacher, which is great. Oh, and they’re all taking swimming lessons, which is also great.” Yeah, so it seemed my vocabulary had shrunk to the word great. Whatever. “I’ve found a local guitar teacher for Florian. And I’ve started saving up to get him a guitar for Christmas, because he really loves it.” Annnnd now I was rambling like a crazy person. Standing in front of Wolfe, close enough that I could just reach out and touch him, had me feeling all giddy and overwhelmed.
“That’s so good. Well done.”
Did he really have to smile at me like that? So that my insides turned to goo, and I could barely get my words straight?
“Thanks,” I replied, trying not to blush. “It’s been a bit of a juggling act, but we’re managing.”
“Speaking of juggling,” he asked, his eyes searching mine, “what have you been up to?”
“Well,” I started, taking a deep breath, “I’ve actually signed up for an online course. With the regular child support payments, I could cut back on my shifts at the diner enough to fit it in. And I don’t do the Elsa gigs anymore.”
“Wow, that’s really amazing. What’s the course about?”
“Nutrition. It’s just a certificate at this stage, but if I really like it, I can get a better qualification. So it’s a good starting point.”
“Nutrition? That’s fantastic, Esme.” His smile turned sheepish, and he added, “Well, I hope this is up to the mark.”
“Up to the mark?” I asked, confused.
Instead of answering, Wolfe handed me a cooler bag. I looked at it, then back at him. “What’s this?”
“It’s dinner. For you guys. For tonight,” he explained, suddenly looking a little vulnerable.
“You got us takeout?”