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“What?”
“Manifestation.”
I quirked a brow at her.
“Come on, I love this stuff. Think real hard about what you want, put all your mental energy into it. Thoughts are like arrows, you know. Throw them out into the world as hard as you can, and they’ll hit something.”
“You’re nuts.”
“No, I’m not.” She pushed herself to a sitting position, taking my hands in hers. “No time like the present.” Squeezing her eyes shut, she started muttering something over and over.
“What are you even saying?”
“Let Esme get fucked. Let Esme get fucked. Let Esme get fucked.”
I couldn’t hold back a giggle. “It can’t be that easy.”
“Hey, don’t overcomplicate it. You think on it hard enough, the universe will find a way.” Jiggling my hands, she said, “Close your eyes. Make up your own mantra. Let’s make this happen.”
She was relentless, so I gave in to humor her, closing my eyes, trying to think up a mantra.Please let Wolfe want me?That didn’t seem fair to him, to have some higher power force him because I’d wished for it. What the fuck was I thinking? I didn’t even believe in this stuff. But anyway, he wanted me, or he didn’t. And it was irrelevant if I wasn’t available.
“You’re overthinking it.”
Sigh.“I can’t think of something to say.”
“Okay. Just try.Please give me the chance to sleep with Wolfe.”
Yeah, that worked. Feeling like a bit of an idiot, I closed my eyes, said it four times, then let go of Stef’s hands.
“How hard did you think?”
“Veryhard. With all my might.”
Stef lay back down on the grass and closed her eyes. “Good job.”
“So now what?”
“We sit back and wait.”
“For how long?”
“Anywhere from five minutes to ten years, in my experience.”
“Ten years!” I slumped down next to her, biting back a groan. I guess it made sense. Belle would be fifteen by then and I’d have more time on my hands. God fucking dammit, though.
Trying to distract myself, I rested my head in my hand so I could see the kids paddling in the river. I felt that familiar ache of love for them and chastised myself for being selfish. I was all they had. They deserved so much more than the meager life I could give them. If all I had to give up was hot sex with an amazing man, it wasn’t that much of a sacrifice, was it?
“You got a text.”
“Huh?”
Squinting at me, Stef gestured to my bag. “Your purse just vibrated. Someone’s texting you.” She sat bolt upright. “Oh, my god! What if it’s Wolfe? Making you an offer you can’t refuse?”
Rolling my eyes affectionately, I pulled my purse over and started fishing around for my phone. “Firstly, he doesn’t have my number. Secondly, that still doesn’t solve the kid dilemma.” I clicked through to my messages and froze in shock.
I must have had a weird expression on my face, because Stef said, rather tentatively, “Esme?”
My hand shaking, I held the phone out to her.