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Stupidly, I didn’t want him to leave. “And thank you for…you know…”
“No problem. I’ll make sure he doesn’t hassle you again.”
He was gone before I could say anything further. Probably a good thing, because what would I say to him, anyway?
CHAPTER3
Esme
Even now, three days after meeting Wolfe Rivers, I couldn’t get him out of my head. Standing in the shower, my body was more than a little overheated, so I turned the water down a little. It was stupid, since I was unlikely to see him again. And if I did, what then? Still, my hands roamed over my body, cupping my breasts. I closed my eyes, tilting my face up to the water, tweaking my nipples, imagining my hands were his hands. A dull throb between my legs had my hands drifting lower, over my belly.
“Esme! Hurry up! I need to pee!”
My hands froze on my body and my eyes snapped open. Fuck! There was nothing quite like a ten-year-old brother to ruin the mood. “Give me two minutes!” I turned the water off and wrapped my fingers around my hair, wringing out the excess water.
“I can’t hold it! Can I go outside?”
“NO! Jeez, Florian, as if Mrs. Thompson needs to see that first thing in the morning. You’re getting too old for planter pees, anyway.”
“Mr. Jenkins still does them.”
I could hardly reply that the reason Mr. Jenkins still peed outside was that most of the time he was too drunk to find his trailer. Or that Mrs. Jenkins had kicked him out…again…for drunk and disorderly behavior. Or that she’d caught him in Marian Walton’s trailer…again. “Well, he shouldn’t,” was all I said. Lame, I know. I wrapped the towel around myself and opened the bathroom door. Florian was standing there with his legs crossed, his brown hair flopping forward on his forehead, his blue eyes desperate. “I’m done. Make it quick.”
I moved past him, down the short hallway to my bedroom. A quick glance at the old clock on the nightstand let me know I was already running late. Double fuck. “Belle! Have you brushed your teeth?”
“No,” Ariel answered for our little sister. “She said the toothpaste makes her teeth hurt.”
Not this again. I came back out of my bedroom, still wrapped in my towel, to see Ariel tying Belle’s long, chestnut hair into pig tails. “It’ll hurt a lot more if you get a hole in your teeth, Belle. Please, for the love of god, brush them.” Her brown eyes widened in shock at my tone, making me pause. I hated having to be so harsh. She was only five and still learning all this self-care stuff. “Please, baby. Just do your best. I’ll see if I can find a different brand of paste that doesn’t make your teeth hurt.”
Ariel gave me a thumbs up over Belle’s head, a gesture that made her seem way older than her twelve years.
“Do I have to brush my teeth, too?” Tiana looked up from where she was sitting on the couch, putting her sneakers on. I eyed her hair with a sigh. The shoulder length honey blond tresses were always a tangled mess, and I knew it was going to take me ten minutes to brush it properly. Ten minutes I just did not have this morning.
“Of course, Tee. You’re a big seven-year-old. You should be able to show Belle how it’s done. Unless you want to use all your pocket money at the dentist’s.” There, that got her. The toilet flushed and Florian came out, pulling his shorts up. “Now, if you don’t mind. Flo, you ready for school?” He grumbled something under his breath I couldn’t quite catch, but I didn’t have time to pull him up on it. I was already going to be doing the school run with wet hair as it was. A quick glance around had me feeling like all four kids were on track to get out of the house pretty close to on time. “Come on, I’ll do your hair.” Irritation flashed in Tiana’s green eyes, but she shifted on the couch so I could sit behind her.
After I was done with that, I dashed into my bedroom and pulled on denim shorts and a pink tee. When I came out, looking under the couch for my sandals, Ariel said,
“I’ve already missed the bus.”
Fuck. Where did that time go? “I’ll drop you at school.”
Twenty minutes later, I was pulling up out front of the middle school, having already dropped Florian, Tiana, and Belle at Esperance Elementary. Ariel, though, didn’t seem too inclined to get out of the car. “You’d better hurry, or you’ll be late. I’m pretty sure I’ll get a call from the office if you get another late pass.”
“I don’t want to go to camp.”
I blinked at my sister. I’d thought she was really excited about spending the weekend at Slow River Ranch. “Well, you kind of have to.”
“Why? It’s not compulsory. It’s a youth camp for disadvantaged kids. Why would they force me to go?”
Closing my eyes for a moment, I drew a deep breath. I remembered exactly what it was like to be twelve years old, angry and confused all the time. It was only ten years ago, after all. Opening my eyes, I gave her a long, steady look. God, she was so like me. Pale blond hair, serious blue eyes, milky white skin. It was more than just looks, though. She felt responsible for the world and everything in it. Felt like my burdens were her burdens. And because I remembered, so acutely, how that felt at twelve, I said, “We applied weeks ago and were lucky to get a spot. You’re going.”
“But it’s your birthday!”
“I don’t mind ab—”
“You can’t be alone on your birthday. I won’t let you.”
Oh god. I felt hot tears sting my eyes and my throat clog up. She needed this camp. Needed the help of the guidance counsellors there. Needed to connect with other kids her age. “Ariel, please. I need…” I was going to hell, and I knew it. I’d just played my trump card. Out of all four of my siblings, Ariel was the one that had the most understanding of what it was like for me. It made sense, since she was the oldest. But it was more than that. She was always watching me, following my lead. Trying to take some of the weight onto herself. The only way she’d go to the camp was if she thought it was something I needed her to do. It wasn’t. I fucking hated the idea of spending my birthday by myself. But Ariel…she needed this. I held her gaze, hating myself more and more with each moment that passed.