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The haunted look in his blue eyes sent pain straight to my stomach. “He told me he would think about it.”
She hesitated for a moment.
“Say it,” I told her. Taylee always had an opinion and, more often than not, advice to go along with it.
“Are you sure you’re not pushing him away because you’re afraid?”
“Something snapped in me, seeing his friends talk about my kids like that.”
“And what if he says his friends are right, that he doesn't want to be with a single mom?”
Just the thought of it made me want to disintegrate into the sidewalk, but I spun the dandelion stem around in my fingers, wishing love was just as simple as “he loves me, he loves me not.” But Tay was right. I had been the one to push him away; I knew that. “If he already knew, he won’t be upset by me asking him to think it over. And if he didn’t know before... now I'll know he really wants to be here.”
“And if he doesn't?”
The words hung in my mind, impossible to ignore. “I’ll find a way,” I said. There was no other option.
After a beat, my sister said, “Have I told you how brave you are?”
That stopped me in my tracks on the sidewalk. I was in a residential part of town, standing in front of a house with pretty landscaping out front. A woman came rushing by, walking quickly with pink weights on her wrists and ankles.
She gave me a quick wave and a wink before continuing on her way.
“What do you mean?” I finally said to my sister. Me? Brave? I felt like the biggest coward on the planet, running away from a man who just the night before said he loved me.
Her tone was pure as she said, “A lot of women wouldn't have had the courage to leave Seth like you did. They would have stayed with a man who was sleeping around on them because they were afraid of starting from scratch. But you left with those two babies, and you made a life on your own, even if it wasn't as nice of a house as the first one you had, even if it wasn't what felt comfortable. You moved to a whole new town and made friends and fell in love and stood your ground when Seth’s parents were trying to force you down a path you didn’t want. I think it's amazing, and I really, truly am proud of you.”
My eyes were stinging, and despite my best efforts, a spot darkened on the cement as a tear dripped down my chin. “Thank you,” I managed, continuing down the sidewalk before someone came outside and told me to move along.
“Of course.” She paused for a moment. “If Knox comes back to you, we'll know he's a man worth his salt. And if he doesn't, I know that you'll be just fine. You have me, you have your friends, and you have your kids. And most importantly, you have yourself. You've got everything you need to build an incredible life wherever you go.”
I sniffed, wiping at tears. Rumors would probably be all over town with people speculating about why I was walking around sobbing in the middle of the day. Through sniffles, I said, “One of these days, I’m going to be the strong one and it won't always be me crying on the phone when you call.”
“We can take turns,” she said.
I smiled. “I'm so grateful I have you as a sister.”
“Same here.”
We hung up, and I continued walking around town before getting back to work. I was in the midst of the afternoon pill rounds when Bernice found me in the hallway. “Great news, Larkin!” she said.
I looked at her curiously. “What’s going on?”
“Our activities director is excited about your yoga idea! I’m going to have her set a meeting with you so you can plan out the pilot program.” She leaned in closer, whispering, “This will look great on your application in a couple years when I retire and the board is looking for a new director.”
My mouth fell open. “You mean it?”
She nodded and gave me a quick hug. “So glad to have you on the team.”
As she walked away, I reminded myself that my sister was right. Regardless of what happened with Knox, I had what it took to make a really good life. I just couldn’t help wishing that he would be in it as more than a neighbor.
46
LARKIN
After work,I drove on the dirt roads out of town to Liv and Fletcher's pretty white farmhouse. It was gorgeous with wide windows facing the countryside and a sprawling green lawn. The fenced-in backyard had a trampoline and a swing set and plenty of space to play.
When I pulled into the driveway behind Liv’s truck, I got out and breathed the fresh country air. I wondered if Knox and I would ever have a little farmhouse of our own, like we talked about on our date.